The Not So Great Escape
by Mause
Summary: A Section 2 agent is thrown into the mix. Action! Intrigue! Romance! Voyeurism? Can Shinji and Asuka sort things out or will they push each other away? Now with 100% more final chapter!
1. The Great Escape

AN: No crossover, no crazy oc. The later chapters are far more pilot-centric. I feed on reviews. SxA with a dash of R.

-

Shinji sat on the cold sidewalk, his back resting against the unwelcoming steel of one of Tokyo-3's many streetlights. How long had he been staring up at the muted yellow light, swarming with hundreds of supplicating bugs? It had been crowded when he sat down, but now he was the only soul on the street. Not that he could ever be really alone, with a whole branch of NERV dedicated to babysitting him, he thought ruefully. As if in answer to his thought, a jet black sedan slowly pulled up alongside him. Typical NERV, jet black, tinted black windows, government plates, most expensive model. Meanwhile, he had to take the train or risk driving with Misato. Then again, I do drive an Eva, he thought.

Apparently the occupant of the car realized Shinji wasn't going to get up on his own. The driver's side window slowly slid down. The face inside was handsome, in a way that didn't stand out. He didn't have the movie star appearance and charisma of Kaji, the cold ruthless aura of command of his father, but he was sort of getting the mysterious Section 2 agent vibe down. Right now he was trying to look disapproving, but mostly seemed amused.

"Kid, we've really got to stop meeting like this. My boss gets closer to a heart attack every time you sneak off," he said, leaning one elbow out of the window. It was entertaining watching the higher ups scramble, trying to decide whether to treat it as a missing superweapon or a runaway teenager. Still, he worried, these episodes were becoming more frequent. Shinji was too shy to vent like normal people, so this was his modus operandi. The passenger door opened and Shinji slid into the leather seat, moving quietly as if trying to go unnoticed.

"Sorry, Agent Spalding. I'll try not to do it again." The same rote response he had given all the other times.

"Seriously though, next time they might send the big guys with tazers. They'll just bag and tag you. You don't want to know what Agent Sawashima does in his free time." Problems had a way of being smoothed out at NERV, even if that rough edge happened to be your son.

Shinji snorted. "Father wouldn't risk any harm coming to his precious Eva pilot. Although I'm sure he'd be fine with it if I wasn't the one driving that thing."

He was probably right, the agent reflected wryly. Gendo was a cold one, except with the girl.

"If you want alone time, just call the number I gave you so an agent can shadow you. That way people won't freak out."

"That kind of defeats the point of alone time, doesn't it?" Shinji replied, trying to sink into the chair. Sometimes they treated him like he was stupid, although Agent Spalding wasn't as bad about that. The car was plain NERV issue, but there were a few personal touches here and there. Coffee from the usual stand in the cupholder, that little wobbly thing on the dashboard.

For a time, only the sound of fingers drumming on a steering wheel were heard as passing lights illuminated the interior of the car one by one.

"So, what happened this time?" Technically, forbidden territory. He wasn't supposed to get personally involved. Pick the kid up, keep him safe, bring him back to his guardian. That was the job. But, shit, if he tried to help and maybe stopped him from going out like this, it was for the best, right?

Shinji glanced over in surprise, it was hard to tell with just the light from the dashboard to go buy, but he seemed to be genuinely interested. Section 2 generally treated him like some old lady's escaped pomeranian. "Asuka broke my SDAT because I was ignoring her when she asked for dinner."

"Jeez kid, you fight giant monsters regularly and the girl you like picking on you is what upsets you." Honestly, he was surprised. Shinji's file had a special note about the SDAT. Soryu had never struck him as quite that malicious, proud and more than a bit spoiled yes, needlessly cruel no. The angels affected her more than she wanted to admit, apparently.

Shinji spluttered and made several other uncomfortable sounds, trying to speak. The urge to open the door and throw himself out was fairly strong.

"I don't like her! She treats me like a slave, and hogs the TV, and makes me do her laundry and then hits me for touching her bras. She says I'm a pussy because I don't like Rammstein. She makes up stupid rumors about me at school and now everyone calls me Morning Wood Boy," it all seemed to pour out at once, and before he knew it jumping out onto the asphalt was looking like a better and better option.

The sudden outburst faded and an awkward silence filled it's place. Agent Kelly was glancing at him with an extremely skeptical look on his face.

"Okay, maybe I like her a bit," he whispered, the skeptical stare boring into him. As soon as he admitted it, it changed into a conspiratory partner-in-crime look.

"What about Ayanami? You met her first right?" Shinji turned redder, if it was possible. The kid was fun to tease.

"Um, well, yeah, she's not as mean to me but that's probably only because she doesn't pay any attention to me." Whenever he looked at her in class, she was staring out the window. Shinji was completely unaware of Rei's sixth sense that told her when to look away.

"So which do you like more?" He felt silly, but Shinji had a way of making awkward silences increasing uncomfortable, and this was better than nothing.

"Um, I guess Rei. No, I mean, Asuka. Well, both?"

More awkward silence. The stare was more accusatory this time.

"What, why are you looking at me like that? Not both at once! I'm not a pervert or anything! A few dreams don't count right?" Shinji could feel the walls of the hole getting higher and higher around him. Oh God, I'm an insect, why am I even alive? Laughter pried him roughly from his self loathing.

"That's fine, kid. I mean, you live with Major Katsuragi and Pilot Soryu, right? There'd be something wrong with you if you didn't think about things like that." Shinji looked over in relief. Agent Kelly seemed to be struggling to hold onto the wheel and not laugh at the same time.

"Um...oh." So everyone else dreamed about holding hands with girls. That was relieving.

"I mean, the assistant director of my division always wears these tight skirts. And what about Dr. Ritsuko and that mousy technician? Half of NERV thinks about those two together." Seeing the blank stare on Shinji's face, he coughed awkwardly.

But they're both girls, Shinji thought in confusion.

"Right. Well then, let's buy you an mp3 player. I mean, it was weird that you even still had that old SDAT."

Shinji's face brightened. Some kids at school had them, and they held thousands of songs. Maybe he could take it in the Eva. Did they made LCL proof ones?

"Oh...but I don't have any money." Shinji's face fell. Asuka made him buy sushi with his allowance, and it wasn't enough anyway.

"We'll just use NERV money." Yeah right, the budget branch was tighter with their money than Asuka in a plugsuit. They used pencils down to the nubs. Shinji was staring up at him now, and he could almost see the dollars in his eyes. "But that's it, okay? They keep track of this stuff." Shinji was crestfallen, but brightened when they pulled into the parking lot of an electronics store.

They got surprisingly few awkward looks, seeing as they were a dangerous looking man in a black suit and a tiny twig of a Japanese kid debating the merits of different mp3 players. The few customers inside that late mostly ignored them. A while later they were walking out, Shinji looking happy and holding a bag containing his new mp3 player.

"I guess I have to save money for songs," he said, already planning how to hide it from Asuka.

"Just ask your nerdy friend how to pirate music," the agent shook his head, the kid was too straight-laced for his own good.

"Err, how do you know about Kensuke? And isn't that illegal?" Shinji felt like a police officer had just told him to shoplift.

"Everyone in Section 2 has read your file, kid. And who cares, you listen to classical right? It's not like the guys who wrote it are going to miss the money." Not to mention you're saving the world and all, he added to himself.

"Yeah, I guess." Shinji was quiet as they drove back towards Misato's apartment. He held the manual to his new mp3 player up to the window, trying to get enough light to read it by. Agent Spalding looked over and smiled to himself, kids healed fast, even when they were shoved into a war they had no place in. Everyone at NERV had to deal with the helplessness brought on by having children in the Evangelions. Most people struggled with wishing they could take the place of the children, while being relieved that the responsibility wasn't on their shoulders. He felt it keenly, having to sit back and let a boy fight for him. If he could make the kid a little happier, why not break a few rules?

As the car stopped in front of the familiar entrance to Misato's building, Shinji put the manual back in the bag and started to get out of the car.

"Listen kid, this was fun, but no more sneaking out, alright? It really does cause problems at work." Shinji nodded, appearing contrite for the first time.

"Thank you for the mp3 player. And...can you not call me 'kid'? Lots of people at NERV do that and it's kind of irritating." Shinji immediately wished he could take it back. On the Shinji scale that was roughly akin to peeing on someone's shoes.

"You're right, I'm sorry. You do an adult's job and deserve an adult's respect, Ikari-san." No one knew quite how to deal with Shinji, and everyone came to a different conclusion.

"That feels weird, just Shinji is fine." he smiled genuinely and got out of the car, shutting the door.

The passenger window rolled down. "Ah, call me Kelly then, Shinji. Err, my mom was Japanese any I think she didn't know it was mainly a girl's name. Stay out of trouble."

"Goodnight then, Kelly-san." Shinji waved.

"Goodnight, Shinji."

After the pilot was safely in the house, the car pulled away into the night of Tokyo-3.


	2. When Misato's Away

Gendo looked down at the files on his desk, then back up at the man sitting in front of him. Most people would be a gibbling ball of terror and bodily fluids when faced with the interlaced fingers and shining glasses, but if Agent Spalding was he was hiding it fairly well. His skin was fairly dark, and his hair was cut close to his head, Section 2 wasn't big on individual expression. He was slightly average height for a Japanese person, but filled out a suit well.

The man's file was unimpressive. Trained in private sector security, recruited through connections shortly after NERV was formed. His clearance was low, he worked at the lowest level of Section 2. In short, a grunt. He would not even be aware of his existance if not for the incident.

Even his file was unremarkable. Born to an American father and a Japanese mother, shuffled between countries, belonging to neither. Trained in judo and firearms, nothing out of the usual for security work. Nothing to suggest he would do anything improper. Gendo knew he should have delegated this to Fuyutsuki.

"So, Agent...Spalding." Gendo made a point of glancing down at the file, making it perfectly clear the man was beneath his notice.

"Yeah, like the basketball. Did you ever read Slam Dunk?" The silence that followed was exquisite.

"I'm afraid I'm too busy defeating the angels for much leisure reading."

The temperature in the room dropped a few degrees.

"Sorry sir." Gendo ignored this, and flipped through another page in the file.

"You were sent to pick up Pilot Ikari?" It was a question and a statement.

"Yes sir, he had snuck out after Pilot Soryu destroyed some of his property, I think he needed some time out of the house."

"It's not your job to think about what he needed. I am disappointed that Section 2 continues to allow these incidents." Gendo set the file down and went back to his patented interlaced white gloves pose.

"With all due respect sir, there's not much more we can do about it, short of chaining him up or housing him at NERV. We located him within six minutes of being made aware of his disappearance."

Gendo seethed in a cold, calculated fashion. He had been against this foolish arrangement in the first place, but would never admit he had been talked around by Major Katsuragi and Fuyutsuki. It was hard to say why Shinji couldn't live with the Major when he allowed Rei to live on her own.

"Very well. You seem to handle him slightly better than the others that have tried. I will be letting Kanagawa know you are to be assigned to further such...difficulties. I trust you will keep things strictly professional. As of now, he is our best performing Eva pilot. Preventing harm from coming to our only tool against the angels is more important than one child's personal freedom." Gendo reminded himself these problems would only last until the Dummy Plugs were finished. Shinji tried his nerves.

So you can think of your own son as a tool, you cold bastard, thought Agent Spalding. "Yes, sir." was the only possible reply.

"Oh, and a special assignment for today. It should make full use of your capabilities."

-

Shinji was having a great morning. Misato was in Kyoto for two days, and Asuka was sleeping in and wouldn't be up for another hour or so. He had the house to himself. He walked around the kitchen, wearing only pajama pants. His new mp3 player was tucked in a pocket, the buds going up to his ears. He hummed along to a cello sonata quietly as he made breakfast. Despite resenting being made to do virtually all the household chores, he actually enjoyed cooking. He hadn't even gotten through half the music Kensuke had added for him.

The blue eye that watched him through a crack in the door went unnoticed. Asuka bit her lip and tried not to make any noise. She felt her frustration mounting as she watched the scene through the door. Sometimes Shinji was like a different person. Damn, he was even getting more muscular. The Eva training and her top secret Feed Shinji More Meat And Not This Rice Bullshit Japanese People Eat plan was paying off. Was that a six pack? Suddenly, Shinji turned towards her direction. She jerked away, rattling the door in it's frame. She held her breath with her back against the door, listening to the footsteps come closer.

"Um, Asuka, if you're awake do you want to come out for breakfast?" he asked, but recieved no reply. After recieving no reply he wandered back to the stove.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Asuka stood up and pulled on a big tshirt. It was one of Kaji's she appropriated. It showed just enough that Shinji would look but she could still act offended. She breathed in deeply, preparing for her entrance, then roughly slammed the door open.

"God, baka, why are you so fucking loud? I'm trying to sleep. I thought Japanese people were supposed to be meek and quiet or something. And stop ogling my legs, pervert, I'm not a piece of meat." She paused for a moment to admire her flawless delivery.

Shinji was admiring something different but equally flawless, namely a shapely pair of legs. Now he had to pretend he hadn't, even though they both knew.

"Err, I wasn't. Sorry." Why am I apologizing while claiming I didn't do it, he wondered. Then he glanced down and realized he had no shirt on. "Um, sorry, I'll go get dressed."

Asuka waved a mental goodbye to confident, happy Shinji and sighed. "I don't care, just make my breakfast. It's not like I don't see you and your tiny oak in a plugsuit every week."

Shinji blushed, and struggled for a suitable reply. Asuka saved him the effort and pointed out the bacon was burning.

As Shinji struggled to save his personal kitchen stadium, Asuka went into the bathroom to brush her teeth and have her morning shower.

With a mirror present, she naturally went into Analyze Every Flaw mode, while ignoring the thick auburn hair, beautiful face, vibrant blue eyes, etcetera. Once again she proved that Eva pilots cannot stare blemishes off their chins. As she brushed her teeth, she continued her ongoing mental dialogue with mirror-Asuka.

Oh God, I must have hit a new low. If only there were some decent guys around. Why couldn't I live with Kaji. Now I'm stuck staring at that, that, that baka. The girls in college would laugh at me. So what if he has abs now. So what if he's a little bit cute. He's nothing compared to Kaji. He's still thin little Shinji, all the German guys were taller. Yeah, he's just a little more toned now. So what if he's tasty. Oh God, did I just think of Shinji as tasty?

Asuka suppressed her gag reflex and got in the shower.

Meanwhile, Shinji was wondering a few things of his own. They went along the lines of why the hell does she come out in just a shirt and bitch at me about looking. Was she acting a little different today? She's in the shower, that means she's naked right? Oh God, I'm in the same house as a naked girl. Could I see through the shower curtain? How likely would I be to get caught if I looked? How badly would she kill me if I got caught? Some levels of death were acceptable to Shinji if they also involved a naked, wet redhead.

Breakfast passed uneventfully, with both pilots glancing at eachother and looking away most of the meal. Asuka resolved several times not to stare at his abs, shoulders, chest, or arms. She stole his bacon instead. It wasn't her fault he didn't fight for it. Shinji enjoyed his eggs and toast, and the view.

They left to walk to school, with Shinji trailing slightly behind Asuka until she stopped near the street.

"Oh great, a suit," she muttered, usually the unwelcome appearance of Section 2 meant surprise sync tests. She raised an eyebrow as Shinji walked past her.

"Good morning, Kelly-san." Shinji called cheerfully.

The man leaning against the black sedan waved. "Shinji, Pilot Soryu, good morning. I'm here to drive you two to school, since Major Katsuragi is in Kyoto. Security is heightened today because of a hacking attempt against the Magi." Technically, they didn't need to know that, but he was a little irked that the assignment that would make full use of his abilities was driving children to school.

"Sucking up to daddy's goons, huh Shinji?" Asuka murmured under her breath, before walking towards the car. "Well, I guess someone as important as me does need a chauffer," she said more loudly, while standing by the door and looking at it expectantly.

It dawned on Kelly that Asuka was expecting him to open the door for her. He groaned inwardly, but did it. Asuka was more aware of her value as an Eva pilot and could make his life a lot more miserable. "Of course, your protection is our utmost concern." Naturally, this caused Asuka to seethe. She was an Eva pilot, like hell she needed some goon's protection. Shinji missed the entire byplay and looked confused.

"Let's go Shinji, Rent-a-cop probably has to go guard a mall or something today." Normally, Asuka would have taken the front and forced Shinji to take the backseat, but she didn't want to sit by the suit, so both pilots ended up sitting in the back. Of course, she sat as far away as possible and stared out the window, it wouldn't do to give Shinji any ideas.

"So, Shinji, how are you liking your mp3 player?" He asked, watching the rearview mirror through his sunglasses. Sadly, watching Shinji try to sneak glances at Asuka, while Asuka watched him in the reflection on the window was probably going to be the most interesting event of the day.

"Oh, it's great. I got a bunch of new cello songs and piano. Kensuke gave me some jazz too that I kind of like. And some j-pop that I don't. Um, I don't have to buy batteries for it or anything either." Shinji would have praised any gift he got just to be polite, but he was genuinely happy with it.

Asuka was actually feeling slightly guilty about breaking Shinji's SDAT. She hadn't meant to break it, just throw it on the floor. It sort of accidentally hit the wall and broke into several pieces. Really, it was his fault for having such an old piece of junk anyway. He should have been giving her the proper amount of attention. Still...

She leaned over, pressing her shoulder against his, and holding a hand in front of her mouth conspiritorially. "Sorry about breaking your cassette thing Shinji. But you got a new one right so it's okay."

Shinji was more aware of the firm breast pressing against his arm, but he nodded. He was upset at the time, and still a little irked, but not the type to hold grudges. Luckily he was spared awkwardness of holding his backpack in front of him by the departure of Asuka's breast, and Asuka.

"I'm going first, wait a few minutes and then get out. I don't want people to see us getting out of the same car and getting weird ideas," she said, and swept off, already planning how to command the day.

Shinji sat for a while, in his usual state of obedience and hormone-induced confusion.

"You know she likes you." Kelly said from the front, looking at Shinji in the mirror.

Shinji was skeptical, to say the least. "She likes that I cook and clean for her, and do her Japanese homework. She seems pretty disgusted with me."

"Shinji, you're the only guy who can understand what she goes through. Plus, you live together. She acts like a boy picking on the girl he likes." If he could see it in a few minutes of driving them to school, how could Shinji not have noticed?

"Your intelligence gathering needs work. I'm not Kaji." Shinji liked Kaji, but always being compared to him made him defensive.

"You mean Ryouji? Trust me, that's a good thing. Asuka couldn't deal with someone who paid attention to other girls like he would." Not to mention he was old enough to be her dad, but the kid apparently saw him as competition.

That made sense to Shinji, but then why did she compare him to Kaji so much? "If you say so," he muttered noncommitally.

"Here, how about this. Pay attention to Ayanami today and then watch how Asuka reacts." This was way beyond the scope of his assignment, but what the hell. He was sure they didn't bug his car, so Gendo wouldn't find out unless one of the pilots told him, which was extremely unlikely for different reasons.

It sounded like a recipie for death, or extreme embarassment, or both, but Shinji just shrugged. "Maybe," was all he said, though he had no intention of doing it. Yet.


	3. A Memory Card

AN: Thank you for the reviews. This was one of those stories where you have the thought and have to write it down because you keep thinking of scenes.

Agent Kelly sat outside Shinji and Asuka's school, sipping lukewarm coffee in the air conditioned interior of his black sedan. Staking out a middle school. The assignment was pointless, since Section 2 already had security plants inside to keep watch over the newest potential crop of Evangelion pilots. Probably a janitor with a spear hidden inside his mop or something.

He sighed and twisted his back, trying to settle further into the leather seat. He followed his training in an almost subconscious way, eyes watching carefully for anything unusual, but he was distracted. He didn't know why he was sticking his neck out. His first thought was some kind of childish rebellion against authority, but he liked his job. He believed in what they were doing, well, what he was told they were doing. In this business he knew it was very likely to be something different from what was actually going on.

This inner monologue was set to go on for a few more hours when he saw someone moving along the wall to the school. He almost dismissed it because his mind was so set on the idea that this was a pointless joke of an assignment. He was forced to reconsider when he got a clearer view. A disheveled looking man was attempting to sneak along the wall, carrying a black bag over his shoulder. His hair was long and unkempt, his face was scruffy and unshaven, and he moved like he was excited or nervous or both. He clutched the bag to himself and seemed intent on getting into the school. He fit the description of a terrorist radical perfectly.

Agent Kelly silently opened the door and got out of the car, crouching to be hidden behind it. The man didn't seem to be armed, so he kept his gun holstered. No one was looking at them just then, but chasing someone around a school with a gun wasn't the best situation if it could be avoided.

The man was so intent on getting into the school that he didn't notice the Section 2 agent running towards him. His sudden contact with the ground, the arms like steel pinning him to the ground and ripping his bag away all happened in seconds and took a while to be processed by his overtaxed brain. Once it all hit, he was struggling to control his overtaxed bladder. Dimly he realized the man was calmly but insistently asking him questions.

"Who do you work for? What's in the bag? Answer me!" the man demanded, putting pressure on his back and shoving his face against the ground.

"I don't know man, I don't know! I wasn't doing anything!" he pleaded, having trouble speaking around a mouthful of grass.

The man was dumping out the bag now. "Oh man, my camera. Don't scratch it. I had to give up doujins for months to buy it. Hey are you a cop?"

It was a camera, fairly expensive, but not up to spy quality. "What the hell? Are you a spy? Who sent you?"

The man was only just catching up to the questions. "I'm just taking pictures man, I work in New Akihabara selling models. Am I in trouble?"

Agent Kelly was confused, but hiding it under a well-maintained dealing with the perp facade. "Taking pictures? This is a school."

He turned the camera on and looked at the first picture on the memory card. Then he turned the camera sideways and squinted. Then his eyes widened and he clicked through the other pictures hurriedly, occasionally turning the camera or bringing it closer.

"You took all of these? Here?" He popped the memory card out and put it in a pocket. It was going to be so hard to turn this into evidence where it'd sit in some locker.

"I like schoolgirls man, I can't help it. Just today, I swear! I heard they have a girl with blue hair here on the swim team," the man was starting to realize he might not go to jail for years and be put on the sex offender's list.

"That's a strong zoom lens, you can almost read the panty tags. Look, I can't arrest you, but I can make your life very very unhappy." Not to mention the Size 400 Eva boot he'd get dropped on his house if Soryu ever found out. He wasn't sure whether she'd be more pissed that the guy was taking perverted pictures, or that he came to take them of Ayanami. "This school is off limits, if you know what's good for you."

The man was not a particularly brave individual. He had no intention of coming within miles of this school ever again, and black suits would probably make him flinch for the rest of his life. "Wait, you're letting me go? Can I have my memory card back?"

"No. And I'm taking the ones in the pocket too. Look, I'm letting you go because I don't want to deal with the paperwork and I have to pick someone up in an hour. You can get in serious trouble for this, alright?" The man was not the type to stay around and debate the legality of taking voyeuristic photos of schoolgirls. Once he was no longer getting to know the ground he grabbed his camera and ran as fast as his pale legs could carry him.

Agent Kelly picked up all the memory cards that had been spilled on the ground when he overturned the bag, except one, which was found an hour later.

-

Rei stared out the window as the teacher droned on and the other students passed notes. PE was over and she couldn't swim anymore today, so there was nothing to do except watch Ikari's reflection. He seemed different today, he spoke to her in homeroom and was watching her when she swam her laps.

Pilot Soryu was not taking it well.

"Shinjiiiiiiii, what does this kanji mean? Japanese chicken scratch is so confusing." Asuka leaned over, placing the paper on Shinji's desk and giving him an ample view of the valleys of Germany.

"Um, it means, uh, cleavage. Like a crack in a rock," he flinched, waiting for the inevitable fist or German suplex.

"Ohh. In German it would be dekollete." She giggled in an entirely un-Asuka-like manner and pressed her breasts together with her arms as she leaned towards Shinji.

A voice from across the room saved him. "Ikari, would you like to be my partner for the lab project?" Every head in the class swiveled as one to stare in shock at a certain blue haired pilot.

Asuka recovered first. "Sorry wondergirl, Shinji already said he would be my partner. I'm sure Kensuke is willing."

"I am?" said Shinji.

"I am!" said Kensuke.

Hikari looked irritated, since Asuka already said they would be partners. Then she glanced hopefully at Toji, who was already asking Uchimada who sat in the back and had D cups. She glanced down at her chest and sighed.

"Since when are we lab partners, Asuka? That would actually involve spending time with me." Shinji wasn't entirely against it, but it seemed out of character.

"It's in Japanese, so you can do most of the work." She flipped her hair back over her shoulder and sat down, congratulation herself on her improv.

Rei glanced at Shinji with a slightly sad look, but he was staring ahead appearing deep in thought.

Asuka passed notes to Hikari the rest of the class, and Shinji seemed distracted. Kensuke was...praying?

-

Shinji left school, walking between Toji and Kensuke.

"Shinji, why did the bitch want to be your lab partner?" asked a dumbfounded Toji. It didn't take much to dumbfound Toji, but this had Kensuke confused too, which was rare.

"Yeah, normally she would just be with Hikari." Kensuke hadn't thought about it too deeply, a large fraction of his brain was busy fantasizing about Rei inviting him over to work on a "project".

Shinji was going to answer, until he saw something on the ground.

"Hey, what's this?" he held the small plastic object up.

"That looks like a memory card from a camera." Kensuke pulled himself away from fantasy Rei long enough to impart some nerd knowledge.

"Maybe someone lost it and will reward us for giving it back!" Toji thought about money.

"Maybe some girl took naked pictures for her boyfriend and then lost it!" Kensuke thought about sex.

Shinji frowned. "We should find out who it belongs to and return it."

"Yeah, for a reward!" Shinji shook his head. Why am I friends with him again?, Toji wondered.

"Well, we can see what's on it and then return it," said Kensuke. "You guys have a laptop, right?"

"Yeah." Of course, it's a crappy old one because Misato doesn't know anything about computers. Meanwhile, dad gets the most advanced computer in the world.

-

"Ugh, no way am I riding in the back with you nerds," said Asuka disgustedly, and got into the front seat.

"Kelly-san, Toji and Kensuke are coming, is that okay?" Shinji asked.

"Sure, if you mess my car up they'll find you in Tokyo bay, though." Agent Kelly opened the door.

Kensuke was in heaven. "Oh wow, a real Section 2 agent. Do you get to carry a gun?"

"Yeah, all Section 2 field agents are required to carry thanks to a government provision. Check it out." he pulled a gun from his hip holster and back to Kensuke.

"Oh my God!" cried Kensuke. He was near tears. The gun was unloaded and had the magazine taken out, but this was the closest he had ever been to a real firearm.

"What's the big deal, you do realize I swing around a 40 foot rifle in my Eva?" Asuka mumbled something after about males and their phallic object obsession.

"Idiot, this is a Springfield XD. Almost no one can get real guns in Japan, much less American models!" Kensuke was in full on gun otaku mode.

"German guns are better anyway," Asuka countered, and opened the window to get as far away from the testosterone as possible.

-

"You're the best!" said Kensuke vehemently, after everyone had gotten out of the car. The look in his eyes could only be described as worship.

"Haha, it's no big deal," replied Kelly, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. He took his gun back from Kensuke, who handled it like it was the Holy Grail. Good thing he hadn't brought up the Benelli shotgun in the trunk.

"Um, thanks for the ride," said Shinji. He was eager to see what was on the memory card.

"It's my job, at the moment. I'm not sure if I have to take you guys tomorrow, it depends on if security levels are still elevated," he waved and got back in the car.

"Wow, you get your own driver. That's pretty cool." said Toji. The car had impressed him more than the gun, really.

"Yeah, did you feel those doors! They were heavier than usual, that means the car is armored!" Kensuke exclaimed.

Shinji had trouble understanding what was so impressive about this, but he drove a giant mecha.

"Hey, let's go find out what's on that thing."


	4. One Swimsuit to Rule Them All

"Holy crap. Is that...I mean, you can see..." Kensuke clicked the zoom button. Every time he zoomed in, the guy's eyes got a little wider.

Once they could all speak again, Shinji fell into his role as the mature one. "Kensuke, were you taking perverted pictures again?"

"No! These were taken with a DSLR! Look at the exif data. I can't afford one of those."

Toji could name most of the feminine parts on the screen, but he was puzzled about which was the exif data. Sounded scientific.

"Shouldn't we like, report this? It's invasion of privacy or something." Sexy, high resolution invasion of privacy.

"Yeah, Mr. Police Officer, we just happened to find these dirty pictures of our classmates. That'll go over well," said Kensuke sarcastically.

"Hey, you're the one with a record!" exclaimed Shinji.

As they argued over what to do, a redhead peered into the room. She had already overheard, thanks to thin Japanese walls. Ewwwww, are those pictures of girls? Oh my god, she's from our school! They must be looking for me. I'll wait and see what they think and then bust them. Asuka called it mission planning. Most people called it being devious.

"Hey, this is the swim team!" Shinji was the first to pick up on it, since he spent a lot of time staring at the swim team.

"Wow, those swimsuits are tight," said Toji, since it was his job to state the obvious.

"Wow, do you think..." Kensuke began, then they all stopped as the next picture came up.

The screen was filled with flawless white thighs, leading up to a form fitting dark blue swimsuit. Very form fitting. Water was beading off it, and each drop was shown in detail. Any more detail and they would be able to tell if Rei was a natural, err, bluehead.

"Ayanami!"

"Rei?"

"Wondergirl..." Asuka spoke last, and under her breath. Her teeth were grinding. What kind of idiot would bother taking pictures at school and waste their time on the doll?

"What the hell are we supposed to do with this?" asked Shinji. He knew what he wanted to do with it, but would he ever be able to look Ayanami in the face?

"Right click, save," said Kensuke.

"No! Asuka and Misato use this computer too. And, uh, it would be wrong." Shinji's protests were getting weaker.

"I'll hold onto it until we decide what to do!"

"You don't even have a computer, Toji."

"Oh yeah."

They all tried to think while Ayanami's butt filled the laptop screen. Needless to say, it wasn't going very well.

"Okay!" exclaimed Shinji, shutting the laptop for the good of all present. The one ring was put away, and Bilbo turned back into his cheery old self.

"I'll keep it for now and we can decide what to do tomorrow," Shinji decided. They all agreed, since the bait was gone now, and the kid with the 90 foot robot makes the rules anyway. "You guys should go home before Asuka gets suspicious. Don't tell anyone about it." Kensuke and Toji left, with one last forlorn glance at the laptop each.

Shinji hid the memory card under his mattress, and then went into the kitchen to get lunch. He passed Asuka, whose face was carefully blank.

"I hate you. We aren't partners anymore." she said in a deadly quiet voice, and slammed her door.

This wasn't that unusual for Asuka, so Shinji didn't make anything of it. He never thought she was that serious about it anyway. He started to get a little worried when she didn't come out of her room the rest of the night, even when he made sausage for dinner. He started to get a lot worried when he woke up the next morning and a familiar plastic object was pinned to his mattress with an icepick, a few inches from his face.

-

Section 2's watercooler talk was much like other, less secretive organizations.

"Hahaha, you caught a pervert? Good thing you have all those judo trophies, voyeurs of the world beware!"

"I think it was brave."

"Hey, did you save any of the pictures?"

"Check the bathroom for hidden cameras next time you're in there, Pervert Catcher."

It was one of those grin and bear it moments.


	5. Intrigue and Suspense!

AN: Thanks for all the reviews guys, you keep me writing.

Shinji stared at the impaled memory card as a single tear trickled down his cheek into his pillow. Why hadn't he let Kensuke copy the pictures off of it? The memories that he thought would be permanently in his mind yesterday were remarkably fuzzy this morning. Eventually his mind got around to the thought that Asuka must have done it, and known what was on it. In a way he was glad the icepick was near his face and not...lower.

He pulled his blankets further up over his head. Some ancient monkey-vestige of instinct hoped his covers would protect him from a certain enraged German beast. For a while, it was just him and his crushed dreams (namely a small piece of plastic) together under the blankets. Then Misato knocked on his door and told him to get ready for school. Shinji pushed it as far as he could, namely another five minutes, and then eased the door open.

Half of a scared Eva pilots head peeked out the door and down the hall. It seemed clear. He moved out, down the hall, and looked into the living room. Clear too. That just left...

He turned around, and Asuka was behind him, wearing very modest, thick flannel pajamas. Shinji jumped back several feet without seeming to move his legs at all. Ritsuko would have wanted to study him if she had seen it.

Asuka gave him an unreadable look, then walked past him silently and started making a bowl of cereal. She didn't jerk the fridge open, she didn't slam the bowl or cereal on the counter, she even opened the milk carefully. Faced with the lack of a third nuclear explosion on Japanese soil, Shinji's brain went into panic mode. He froze as Asuka went about the kitchen making her breakfast, then sat at the table and began to eat measured spoonfuls.

Only their guardian's timely arrival got him reluctantly moving again. Since today was clearly not a breakfast cooking day, he took his own brand of cereal and sat at the table, as far from Asuka as he could be without eating on the porch. He would not have been surprised to see the glass surface of the table fogging up, with small icicles forming on the sides.

Asuka made a point of leaving before he did, and he got to class ten minutes after her. When he got there, he saw the first display of emotion on her face since this morning. If he had to guess, he would have said frustation with a hint of need-to-kill-Shinji.

"The bitch tried to change partners to Hikari but the teacher said it was already decided and then pretended to be deaf," Toji filled him in.

"Hey, what happened to the drac yromem?" Kensuke asked. Toji looked confused.

"About that..."

-

Agent Kelly was on guard duty. It was nice to no longer be a glorified babysitter/chauffer, but monotonous. At least there were no perverts in the depths of NERV.

NERV had a large and well-equipped security force, but Section 2 was typically charged with protecting the more sensitive areas, like the Magi and Terminal Dogma. The whole thing was enough to spike any normal person's curiousity, but he was paid not to wonder or ask questions.

The security monitors remained unchanged for hours. His job was to watch those and the blinking access lights. The Magi could have done it, but people had trouble handing over jobs to machines. Of course, there were no cameras inside Terminal Dogma. After a while, his eyes strayed. Why the hell were there security cameras in the women's bathroom anyway?

Then a green light came on. Green was alright, it meant an authorized access card. But this one was for the southern access gate of Terminal Dogma. No one went in there. Protocol in this situation required he call a full security squad, but he thought he recognized the figure on the security camera, so instead of hitting the intercom that would have a security squad there in mintues, he unholstered his gun and ran out the door. Apparently there were perverts in the depths of NERV.

The man was inputting a password at the inner door when the cold feeling of a gun barrel brought him up short.

"Ryoji." The voice was devoid of emotion.

"Spalding? Still as quiet as ever." Kaji's calm was admirable with a gun pressed against his head.

"If I didn't know you from school you'd be strapped to a bed and pumped full of Section 2's truth serum right now. You have 10 seconds to explain yourself." The hand holding the gun didn't shake.

"They trained us to be spies, Spalding. Aren't you a bit curious what's behind the door? Why all the secrecy?" Kaji managed the tone of old friends chatting over lunch.

"No," he lied.

"I think you're lying," said Kaji, and hit the last number of the password. The door slid open with a rush of pressurized air.


	6. Puzzle Pieces

Revealing a large, empty room.

"Is this supposed to interest me?" Spalding asked. He pulled the gun back, but kept it out. He glanced around warily. He could get worse than fired for this. If he disappeared, no one would ask questions.

"No, this is wrong, where's Lilith?" Kaji sounded worried.

"You broke into Terminal Dogma to meet a woman?" that was a new low, even for Ryoji. The man was a known womanizer at the academy, but his MO was charm, not incredibly risky dates.

"No, you idiot, an angel." Kaji was walking around, staring incredulously at the emptiness.

"Right, an angel in NERV. Makes perfect sense. Are you sure you aren't thinking of the cute brunette in accounting?" skepticism dripped from every word.

"No, really, this is where they keep it! Why do you think the angels attack the Geofront?" Kaji explained distractedly.

"Ryoji, someone is playing you. False information to set you up. You're just lucky I pulled security duty." Ryoji had been a lot more careful in the academy. Juggling that many women at once required it.

"My information is solid. It doesn't matter if you believe me." Kaji started to walk further into vast room.

"I have the gun, that means it matters if I believe you." There was no dramatic hammer-cocking to be done, but the aimed weapon was plenty.

"Fine. You were a lot funner in school." Kaji could keep the light mood, even now.

Spalding just waved the barrel of the gun, as if to say get on with it.

"Alright, alright. You probably guessed I'm working as a double-agent."

A nod.

"Some important people in the government don't fully trust Ikari. They feel their interests may not...align." With good reason, he thought.

"Only an idiot would give Ikari as much power as they did if they didn't trust him." Spalding still sounded dubious.

"They did, at first, but putting his own son in an Eva has made them suspicious. They wonder if he's being fully objective."

"What does Shinji have to do with this?" he tried to keep any hint of personal interest from his voice.

"Shinji, eh? That's right, you've been driving him around, haven't you." Kaji wasn't a bad spy, exactly. "Did you know he's living with Katsuragi? Man, when I was a kid I lived with my crusty old grandpa. Imagine waking up to those puppies every morning." He just had some flaws.

"Be serious." 'Two Kegs' Katsuragi was fairly famous at the academy too.

Kaji sighed and glanced at the wall. "Nothing, yet. They just thought Ikari might be stacking the deck in his favor. If they knew more about their father/son relationship they probably wouldn't be as concerned. I doubt Shinji would be an obedient puppet for his father."

He was holding something back, but probably wouldn't tell if pushed. "What does this have to do with angels in NERV?"

"That's what I was told, I wanted to see it for myself. What else would they use a giant, secret room for? Do you really not know anything?" Kaji seemed incredulous.

"Eva storage?" Spalding suggested. Kaji's expression told him his guess was closer than he knew.

"Look..." Kaji began, then stopped. Both their heads turned at the sounds of a door opening at the opposite end of the room. They moved quickly, out the door and hitting the button to close it silently. They only breathed once it was shut and they could lean against the cold steel walls.

"They might have seen us, we need to split up. Edit the security tape," Kaji spoke quickly, then left down the opposite hallway.

Agent Kelly sighed. More work. In addition to the bevy of unanswered questions, he had a feeling that this had all been orchestrated by someone who planned for them to meet and see the empty room.

-

"You what?"

"She what?!?!"

The entire class turned to face the three stooges after the outburst. Toji and Kensuke were dividing their death glares between Shinji and Asuka.

"Oh, I knew I should have taken it," Kensuke moaned. Toji just sobbed into his hands.

"Taken what?" Asuka asked sweetly, with a smile on her face. The rest of the class was watching curiously, including Ayanami.

"Umm, Shinji forgot to return a video game we rented," supplied Kensuke. Toji slapped him on the back in congratulations.

Hikari looked suspicious. "Class is starting, talk about video games later."

The stooges breathed a unified sigh of relief.

Later, the class was given time to work on their projects. Asuka's hands slammed down on Shinji's desk like the Evas kicking an angel.

"Look idiot, just do the project yourself and put my name on it. And don't talk to me." Her glare could melt bakalite.

"Um, Asuka, we both have to do part and the teacher will be able to tell if I do it all." Shinji winced in anticipation of the tirade of abuse.

Asuka ground her teeth. She hated being contradicted, especially when it was Shinji doing the contradicting and he was right.

"Hey Wondergirl, maybe you can pose for some pictures for our project," Asuka asked, putting emphasis on the word pictures.

Shinji swallowed around the ball of cotton that suddenly appeared in his mouth.

"How would pictures of me be relevant to your project, Soryu?" Rei asked calmly.

"We were thinking of doing it on dolls throughout history," Asuka said with a sneer, before turning to talk to Hikari.

Sweat trickled down the backs of the three stooges.

It isn't fair, thought Shinji. We're going to get in trouble for the pictures and we don't even have them anymore.

Rei watched it all curiously. The time she spent staring out the window gave her ample opportunity to assemble puzzle pieces. She had to do it when trying to understand people anyway, but this one seemed special, since she appeared to be one of the pieces.


	7. Women Depart Enigmatically

Filling out paperwork didn't compare to talking to double agents in restricted rooms, thought Agent Kelly.

The taste of what he had always thought work would be like while at the academy had made him realize just how boring his job was now. Still, he got paid, and probably wouldn't wind up in the bottom of a lake wearing cement shoes. The paperwork did get tiresome though.

His elbow brushed a pen off his desk, where it rolled several feet away. He sighed. Today was not his day. He leaned over, initiating the delicate balancing act of staying upright on a cheap office chair.

His fingers scrabbled for the pen until his eyes spied a pair of dress shoes standing by his desk. They led up to legs, which led to more legs, which led to a few more miles of legs, which led to a skirt, which led to thin waist, which led to large breasts, which led to Major Katsuragi with a knowing look on her face.

"Agent Kelly Spalding?"

He looked up with a sheepish look on his face, holding his pen. "Major Katsuragi."

"I hear you've been around Shinji," said said, as if not sure how to continue.

Oh great, here it comes. The do your job or you won't have a job lecture. The don't get too involved warning.

"I just wanted to thank you. He's in a hard situation and I don't know if he needs a mom or a big sister or what," she continued awkwardly.

"Err, that's alright, I just talked to him a bit," it felt like confessing to a crime, but she apparently already knew.

"I'm not asking you to be a father figure or anything, it was just nice of you to treat him like a human being and not a tool. So thank you."

"He's a good kid," he tapped his pen against his desk. Apparently he wasn't going to be fired or killed.

"Oh," she began, with the air of someone talking about something they'd rather avoid. "I heard you had lunch with Kaji."

"Um..." Shit.

"That's what I heard. Did you catch up on stuff from school?" Nothing about her bearing implied she was talking about anything else.

Mouth catching up to brain. "Yeah, we had an interesting conversation. A girl was supposed to meet us there, but she didn't show."

Misato smiled. "I think she had to move, something came up."

He raised an eyebrow. "That's too bad, we both wanted to see her."

"I'm sure she'll turn up. She has some relatives that work here, did you know?"

"I'm not sure they'd want to meet me, I'm a pretty boring guy." Kelly raised an eyebrow.

"You've probably seen them around. I'm sure you'll meet them eventually," she gave an enigmatic smile and departed with a wave, skirt swishing.

He watched her sway out, then tried unsuccessfully to focus on paperwork.

-

Shinji sighed. This project with Asuka was going to be like pulling teeth, sans novocaine. How they'd even get it done with her ignoring him was up in the air.

Might as well get cello practice out of the way, he thought. The neighbors were out and wouldn't bang on the walls, and Asuka was ignoring him.

He unpacked his cello and sat down, facing the wall. Shinji closed his eyes and let his hands find their familiar places on strings and bow. They drifting gracefully up and down the neck, the deep sound filling the house.

Asuka was on her way to the kitchen when she stopped short. A small smile crept onto her face before she realized it. She peeked into Shinji's room. He always looked confident when he was playing, and he was actually quite good. Something about the way his hand moved on the neck of the cello made her stomach clench, though she'd paint her Eva blue before she admitted it.

"Ode to Joy, right?"

Shinji glanced up, surprised that she was even talking to him. "Yeah," was all he felt safe saying.

"You're playing it wrong, though," she concluded.

"How so?"

"It's more like 'freu_de_, _schö_ner _gött_er_fun_ken'," she said, emphasizing the right syllables.

He raised an eyebrow and played the bar, stressing the parts she had. When he reached the end he kept going.

Asuka filled in. "Freude, schöner götterfunken, tochter aus Elysium, wir betreten feuertrunken himmlische dein heiligtum," before realizing she realized what she was doing and stopped.

Shinji grinned. "You're a really good singer," he wasn't sure where the compliment, or the decision to express it came from. It kind of slipped out.

Asuka actually blushed slightly. "Err, thank you. I did choir in college for a few months. 'Joy, beautiful spark of gods, daughter of Elysium, we enter drunk with fire, heavenly one your sanctuary'," she spoke, showing off her translation skills. "It doesn't sound as good in Japanese."

"It's still pretty."

"Yeah. The song has angels in it too. Well, not our kind of angels..." Oops, mood killing brick.

"Does this mean you're not mad?" Shinji ventured, recovering admirably.

"Oh, I'm still plenty mad," Asuka grinned, showing white but intimidating teeth.

"We didn't, err, take them or anything. We just found them," Shinji tried to explain.

"I knew that, you aren't brave enough to do something like that, even though you're a pervert," Asuka was quiet for a while, leaning against his door frame.

"Do you like her better? The doll," she finally spoke.

"Um, I would have liked them better if they were of you," Shinji thought back to this and wondered why he wasn't killed for implying he wanted dirty pictures of Asuka, but it seemed to work at the time.

"Hmm," was all she said, giving him a searching look, before twirling around the doorframe and disappearing from sight.

-

AN: Misato gets a slightly bigger role this chapter. The storylines will also be coming back together soonish.


	8. Angel Blaster VI

AN: Thank you for the reviews everyone. I wanted to say I agree about the tone. Fics post-"shit hitting the fan" have their place, but it didn't fit with the story as I want to tell it so far. Asuka being insane and Shinji curled up in a ball crying are the characters at their worst, and they aren't always like that. I've been stressing out about the OC, they tend to be the lead anchors on otherwise good fics, but I've been trying to keep him non-obtrusive in a way that would fit with the original story, and not superman with all the answers or guy who talks to Shinji and makes him a confident stud. Blah, I babble.

-

Shinji was at the arcade with Kensuke and Toji, showing off his angel blasting skills. Center the target, pull the trigger. Even Kensuke was impressed, and a small crowd had gathered in anticipation of Shinji beating the high score. That crowd included a Section 2 agent who stood out like a sore thumb in his suit. He tapped Shinji on the shoulder.

"Sorry Shinji, sync test. Soryu and Ayanami are already there," he sounded apologetic, he knew the pilots weren't fond of the tests.

"Just a," laser sounds "minute!" more laser sounds. The final boss appeared on the screen with a low-quality roar.

"Rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Shinji screamed, prompting everyone to step back a bit and look at him strangely. He blasted the boss full of refracted light until it exploded in a shower of pixelated green goo, prompting a cascade of flashing lights along the side of the machine.

High Score! flashed triumphantly on the screen. Shinji entered his gamer handle, Angl_Klr and it appeared at #2 on the list.

"Oh man! So close. Who the hell is xxredeyesxx? He always has number 1!" Kensuke lamented.

Kelly felt himself feeling impressed, despite having actually shot at real people and carried a gun every day for the past four years. Something about the mood of the crowd, maybe.

"That was cool Shinji, but we have to go. You're going to have to stay late as it is," he looked at his watch, wondering if he'd get a pay deduction.

"Yeah, I know," Shinji muttered. He blew the tip of the laser pistol dramatically and reholstered it on the machine. A few people clapped. "Catch you later guys, you can have my tickets."

Kensuke and Toji stared at the growing pile of orange paper emerging from the machine.

"Wow, this is enough to buy the 1/100th scale Eva 01 action figure with biting jaw!" Kensuke gathered them up and ran off.

-

As they were driving to NERV, Kelly seemed to be searching for the words to say something. Shinji was quiet.

"I'm not sure how to bring this up, but say, uh, hypothetically, Commander Ikari, err, your father," he scratched the back of his head and tried to start again. "Shinji, say your father ordered you to attack government forces or something weird like that, what would you do?"

Shinji didn't see to need time to think about it, he wasn't big on intrigue and didn't think much about what would motivate Kelly to ask.

"Well, I guess it would depend on what Misato thought. I wouldn't let anyone hurt my friends or the other pilots," he didn't want to mention Asuka by name because he thought it would sound weird.

"What if Katsuragi wasn't there, though?"

"I guess I'd have to decide myself. I mean, they shouldn't put me in a giant robot if they don't think I can make choices. Just because he's my dad doesn't mean he's right about everything." Shinji seemed more sure of it after he said it. Hey, he's not right about everything! "Is this some kind of test?"

"No, I was just wondering. I won't talk to anyone else about it. That's a very mature way of thinking about it, Shinji. Most soldiers would just follow orders and act like that absolved them of any responsibility."

"Well, I'm not a soldier, I'm just a teenager," it seemed obvious.

"Yes, humanity got very lucky," Kelly agreed.

Shinji wasn't sure how to answer that, some part of him knew he was doing something big and important, but he tended to focus on the day-to-day things.

Instead he talked about the new version of the arcade game and how he applied Eva tactics to it until he was dropped off for the sync test.

-

Shinji groaned as he washed off the smell of LCL in the NERV showers. He never thought sitting still for hours could be so tiring. It was a mental exhaustion, as if he had stayed up all night studying. Not only that, but the other pilots would have already left, so he'd have to walk alone through NERV and get home late, then stay up and finish his homework. Apparently "practicing to save the world" was on par with "my dog ate it" as far as teachers and homework were concerned.

He was buttoning his shirt up as he walked out of the locker room area, assuming he would be alone, when he saw Asuka leaning against the wall between the entrances to male and female areas.

"Err, did you stay late?" Shinji asked. He was at a loss for words. Her hair was still slightly damp, and a few wet strands clung to the smooth skin of her face. She had thrown most of it over one shoulder, but some still lay stubbornly on the back of her neck. She looked amazing.

Asuka didn't reply, since the answer was obvious. "You're getting closer to me on the sync scores, you know," she spoke tonelessly.

Shinji wasn't sure if she was complimenting him or what. "Beginner's gains, I think, plus you're still going up." NERV staff tended to compliment him more on his improvements, assuming Asuka already knew how good she was.

She gave him a measuring look. "Just don't get any funny ideas, I've still been doing this the longest." So what if he had killed more angels than she had.

"I won't, I swear. You're like my role model. You're always so graceful in your Eva, and I just run around like an idiot tripping on my own umbilical cable." Shinji generally leaned towards self-deprecating, but there was some truth to this.

Asuka smiled. "Well, my Unit 02 is the best model. It's only to be expected. You could do worse for a role model." She slapped him on the back, causing him to wince. "Hey, will you help me with the homework? It's a stupid essay in Japanese."

"Sure," agreed Shinji. It was better than staying up late alone.


	9. Red Hot Pursuit

"And that concludes our project on the history of German-Japanese relations," spoke Asuka confidently, to the answering applause of the class. The teacher looked impressed. Shinji stood to her left and behind. He had barely spoken, Asuka had presented most of it. They actually worked well together, though. Maybe the residuals of the synchronization.

Asuka beamed in the applause, until Toji broke in. "The newlyweds do it again!"

"What did you say, idiot-monkey?" she screamed, throwing the small model submarine that represented a unified Japanese-German engineering effort at Toji's head.

He ducked, and it hit Kensuke in the nose. Shinji covered his face with his palm as Hikari tried to restore order to the class. So much for German-Japanese relations.

Rei had watched them present their project, never once looking out the window. Why does watching them together make my stomach hurt, she asked herself. They seemed happy, I should be happy for them. Is this jealousy?

The class eventually calmed down under Hikari's iron fist. The teacher picked up where he left off, acting oblivious to it all, and called up the next presentation.

Asuka turned in her chair to face Shinji and whispered loudly, "I'm going home with Hikari today, you better have a good dinner ready when I get back."

Shinji nodded. Toji groaned. "You are so whipped, man."

-

Poor kid, thought Agent Spalding, as he took the steps up to Misato's apartment two at a time. Two sync tests in two days seemed excessive, but he wasn't the scientist.

He knocked at the door, then opened it. "Hey, Shinji, it's Kelly. They're calling you in for an emergency sync test."

There was no reply. The house was quiet, except for the sound of something quietly cooking on the oven. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. "Shinji?" he called quietly. No response. He started further into the house, before a muffled thump brought him up short. He opened the door to what he didn't know was Shinji's room.

Shinji was on the bed, his hands and ankles bound with zip ties and gagged with a pair of his own socks and some tape. His eyes were wide with panic and staring to Kelly's left.

He moved without thinking, thousands of hours of time on the judo mat coming to his aid. His hand caught the wrist holding the taser and flipped the man over his shoulder in one smooth movement, before his brain had even processed that someone was there.

A tall, thick-looking commando in an unmarked military uniform crashed through Shinji's lightly constructed table, his head hitting the wall with a wet thud. The taser lay on the ground amid Shinji's scattered schoolbooks.

"Shit," was all Agent Kelly allowed himself, before pulling a small serrated knife from his pocket and freeing Shinji's wrists and feet. He yanked the tape off Shinji's face, removing the impromptu gag and causing Shinji to wince and think ew, dirty sock taste.

"He hit me from behind when I came in. Asuka is at Hikari's," Shinji stated, getting quickly to the point as he rubbed his wrists to restore circulation.

"I know, let's go," Spalding said, drawing his gun and moving into the hallway as he spoke.

As they left the door, something shot past their faces and hit the wall, where it burst apart and showered them with small plastic pellets. Four men in identical uniforms were moving purposefully down the stairwell towards them.

Agent Spalding fired off two quick shots towards them, intended to get them to stop rather than hit any of them. They both missed but had the desired effect, momentarily. He shoved Shinji towards the stairs and took off after him.

"Get to the car!" he urged, although Shinji hardly needed to be told. He was running as fast as legs could carry him.

Shinji yanked the passenger side door open, quickly shutting it behind him. He saw the four men converging on the car, pistol's raised.

"Look out!" he shouted, as Agent Spalding jumped and slid over the hood of the car, quickly jumping into the driver's seat. Now he didn't feel so stupid for practicing that in the parking lot.

He turned the key, and the car responded with an eager growl and leapt forward. Bullets punched into the passenger side window, not penetrating but imprinting a snowflake-like pattern into the bulletproof glass.

"Damn, I thought they wanted you alive," the non-lethal weapons had only been Plan A, apparently. He flipped open a panel on the dashboard and hit the red button beneath it that would summon a small army of NERV security to his location.

He pulled away from the curb, roaring into the street and staring grimly at the unmarked Humvees following behind them in the rearview mirror.

-

In NERV, highly trained security forces responded. Cars screeched out of a parking garage, carrying enough weapons to take over a small country.

They were brought up short by an overturned shipping truck, burning with fuel and blocking the exit to the street.

"We have to go to the other exit!" yelled a grey-haired, serious looking man into a walkie talkie.

-

"Damn, they're gaining on us," Kelly stated the obvious, as the Humvees now loomed larger in the mirror. Their diesel engines roared like a pack of pursuing wolves.

Their car was smaller, but the extra armor made it slower. The tires had already been blown up twice, but refilled with the emergency gel packs inside. They still thumped ominously.

Shinji stared at the gun that was tossed into his lap.

"Aim for their windshields!" Kelly urged.

Shinji lowered the window, gasping as the wind tore at his clothing. He held the gun steadily in front of him. Center the target, pull the trigger, right? The gun kicked harshly in his hand, and he was amazed to see the white of shattered glass appear in the windshield of the far left Humvee. It went straight for a few seconds, then missed a corner and swerved into a light pole. Shinji was forced to duck back into the car by return fire.

"I just killed a person," he said solemnly, staring at the gun in his hands.

"Probably not! The windshield was bulletproof," Kelly said reassuringly, not mentioning the 80mph crash into a cement pole.

He stared at the approaching curve, then grinned evilly.

"Let's see how they like my 2 centimeters from the guard rail drift!" he shouted, shifting and jerking the wheel.

The car floated, sliding around the corner, the rear fender almost grazing the guard rail. Agent Spalding's coffee rose to the lip of the cup and hung there. Shinji stared in awe.

Then the back of the car slammed into the guard rail, rocking the car. Agent Splading's coffee splashed all over his lap. Shinji would have sweatdropped, if real people did such things.

"Errrr, I don't get a lot of practice," muttered Kelly as the car straightened itself out.

Two parked Humvees blocked the road in front of them. The pursuing trucks roared back into view.

"Looks like the jig is up, Shinji," he spoke quietly. The brakes screeched as they slid to a stop.

The pursuing Humvees stopped, slowing mockingly to a careful stop. Men appeared from inside them, carrying assault rifles.

The ground shook.

The building to their side exploded outwards, punched by the fist of a wrathful god. Shards of glass and concrete rained down, hitting the roof with a metallic tinkling.

A shadow passed over, as a red hand covered the car. Gigantic fingers dug into the asphalt at five points around them, passing through it like playdough.

They both breathed a sigh of relief, sheltered under the protective hand of Unit 02.

NERV forces emerged from the surrounding buildings like ants, converging on the four remaining Humvees and the shocked men around them.

You really didn't realize how big an Eva was until it played with your car like a Hot Wheels.


	10. Here Comes a New Challenger

Shinji groaned. They let you get kidnapped, shot at, chased like some kind of cheap action movie, and all your father has to say is "You conducted yourself befitting an member of NERV." No 'are you alright?', no 'I was worried about you'. Shinji had learned better than to expect any more than that from Gendo Ikari.

"I'd make you do my homework for a month, but you'd probably ruin my grades," gloated Asuka. Shinji just sat on the couch, staring at some point above and to the right of the tv.

"You have to make my favorite food this whole week!" she declared. Shinji just mumbled something and stared.

Asuka frowned. She had saved the idiot's ass, and this was all the response she got? Then her face lit up with her latest brilliant idea.

"Shinjiiii, I was so worried!" she breathed dramatically, flopping down onto the couch next to him. She threw her arms around his side, pulling his arm into her bosom and molding her body against his. Her breath tickled his neck.

Shinji's brain flipped from 'I hate my dad' to 'ooooh, soft' in record time.

"Um, I'm okay, don't worry." Shinji squirmed. She was really, really close.

"Are you sure, Shinji? Maybe I should check," Asuka managed sultry incredibly well for a 14 year old. Her hands began to unbutton his shirt.

"Err, no I'm okay, I mean, uh, go ahead..." Shinji mumbled, not believing his luck.

Asuka jumped up and cackled. "Oh my god, you really believed it! You little sleazebag. I don't even want to know what that was against my leg."

Mankind everywhere shed a tear for Shinji.

"Uh, go ahead!" she mocked, doing her best Shinji impression, which wasn't very good. "Hikari is going to die! Hahahahaha."

Shinji wanted to sink into the couch cushions, even though he'd probably find beer stains and potato chip crumbs.

"Don't tell anyone, Asuka!" He pleaded, knowing it was pointless.

"Dream on, dweeb, the whole school is hearing about this. The girls deserve to know there's a pervert in their midst." She laughed again, then turned to walk to her room. "And don't think getting kidnapped excuses you from having dinner ready on time, Shinji."

Misato emerged from her room, having changed from her work uniform into the trademark cut-off jean shorts and tshirt. She smiled to herself at the relationship between her two wards. Poor Shinji.

She managed to make flopping down on a couch sexy. There was a lot of Misato to bounce. She cracked open a Yebisu and pulled Shinji into her side. He was tense as a board, then relaxed. As much as a teenage boy could relax when he was pressed into firm, braless D cups.

"Let's watch Gunbuster! I loved that when I was a kid," Misato exclaimed, after swallowing her first mouthful of beer.

"Okay," Shinji agreed, and smiled.

-

Agent Spalding sighed. His pen jabbed angrily into the offending paperwork. Why did he have to work for Section 2? A police officer would have gotten a medal, a nice big press conference, been in the newspaper, had cute girls recognizing him in public. All he got was a 'Nice work out there, Spalding'. He was amazed they hadn't docked his pay for the damage to the car.

He drew his boss's face with an evil moustache on it, then crumpled the form up and grabbed a new one.

-

"Uhh, go ahead," Asuka repeated, adding a manly grunt. The girls of the glass, sans Rei, screamed and shouted for an encore. Her Shinji impression was becoming popular.

Shinji held a mechanical pencil in front of his eye. It would be so easy to stab it in and end it all.

A wary Kensuke quickly pulled it from his hand. The males of the class were gathered around his desk, trying console him.

"Hey, she got all up against you, right!" said Kensuke.

"Yeah, plus you got to feel her boobs, not that they're anything special," agreed Toji.

Asuka shot him a death glare that would punch through an AT field from across the room.

"The left one's way bigger than the other one!" continued Toji, undaunted. "She probably has to custom order freak bras from Germany."

"Toji!" screamed Hikari shrilly. He wasn't supposed to be looking at other girl's breasts in the first place.

"Oh yeah? I'm not the one with pervy pictures of the doll's ass!" retorted Asuka. The girls in the class gasped. Rei averted her gaze from the window to look at Shinji, as it dawned on her Soryu was referring to her.

Shinji made a mad grab for the mechanical pencil, which Kensuke jerked away. Toji grabbed Shinji's shoulders to hold him back.

"You what?" asked Hikari, in a quiet voice that cut through the noise in the room. In some ways, she could be scarier than Asuka.

"Errrrrrrrr," Toji's brain began piecing together an explanation, but the bell for the next class rang. Hikari looked like she wanted to fight it, but following school rules was too deeply ingrained.

"You are in so much trouble," she stated, and stormed out, slamming the door open.

-

Rei stopped Shinji in the hallway.

"Was Soryu merely attempting to tease you?" she asked, staring at Shinji innocently. Which just made him feel worse.

"Err, no. I mean, we found this memory card, and there were these pictures on it. We didn't take it though! You were, uh, swimming. Anyway, it's gone now," the words tumbled out in a rush.

Rei looked confused. "Why would you want pictures of my butt?" she attempted to look at her own butt, which happened to involve turning around and pointing it at Shinji while struggling to look over her shoulder at it. She lifted her skirt, revealing said butt encased in plain white panties. "Doesn't everyone have one?"

Shinji hurriedly pulled her skirt down, glancing around the hallway, which was thankfully empty. "Don't do that, what if someone saw?" he said urgently.

"But you are the only one here. Additionally, you have already seen it in a less covered state when you came to deliver my ID card. You also laid on top of me while I was naked and touched my breast. Did you forget?" Rei seemed honestly confused. Shinji seemed incredibly embarassed.

"That doesn't make it okay now! I mean, they were both wrong, and..." Shinji was at a loss, Rei had conjured up memories that made rational thought difficult. "Well, look, it's over, so don't worry about it. Asuka broke it."

"You don't want me to replace the pictures?" Rei asked curiously.

The look of shock on Shinji's face was exquisite. "Err, no. I mean yeah, I mean, why would you do that? Uhh, that wouldn't be appropriate."

"I see. Nevermind then." Rei nodded to him and walked past, towards their next class.

She happened to pass a certain redhead, leaning against a wall around the corner by a vending machine. For an instant she turned towards her and gave her a _very_ knowing smile.

Asuka saw it and clenched her teeth. The can of juice she just bought crumpled in her hand.

Peach juice puddled on the floor as Shinji walked by obliviously, heading in a different direction.


	11. Real Is Better

"I hate her," Asuka stated calmly in the girl's bathroom where she had dragged the class president shortly after class started.

"But Asuka, are you sure she knew you were there," Hikari sounded doubtful. "I mean, we're talking about Rei here."

A cunning, aggressive Rei was as likely as Toji reading poetry in Hikari's mind.

"Oh the bitch definitely knew, you should have seen the look she gave me," Asuka grit her teeth. Fortunately there were no easily breakable things in the bathroom.

"It sounded more like Shinji assaulted her and she didn't understand..." began Hikari.

"Shinji wouldn't do that!" interrupted Asuka. What the hell am I saying? Of course he would, he's a pervert!

Hikari raised an eyebrow. "Why would you care anyway, you hate Shinji right?"

Asuka looked affronted. "Of course! But...I mean, I live with him, so I should decide who he gets to feel up, right?"

Hikari looked skeptical. Did that make sense to her, even in a twisted way?

"I still don't see why it matters. Unless you like him." She added the last bit offhandedly, but it was pointed.

"That's not what's important! It's a challenge. Do you get it? Wondergirl is challenging me. Me!" Asuka gesticulated wildly in the confines of the girl's restroom.

Hikari sighed. "So what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know yet. But I won't lose." Asuka stormed out of the bathroom and back to class.

Hikari following in her wake, worried.

-

Shinji rubbed the bridge of his nose and tried to focus on his homework.

Asuka was wearing small, tight shorts with the name of her college emblazoned on the back. He had read it roughly five thousand times in the twenty minutes they had been doing homework together in the living room. She was lying on her stomach, focused on the textbook. Occasionally she squirmed as if trying to get comfortable, which caused her shorts to ride up every time. Between the current display and Rei's show earlier, he was only on problem three, and he had probably gotten the first two wrong.

The redhead sighed as if uncomfortable and brought her knees up slightly, which only emphasized, well, things better left unemphasized, if Shinji wanted to live through the night.

He had managed, through Herculean force of will, to tear his gaze away, when Asuka stood up and turned to face him. She was uncomfortably close, and loomed over him.

"I heard about you and Wondergirl," she said quietly. Shinji's mind desperately searched for what exactly she could have heard, while the rest of his body responded to the toned abs, long legs, and perky breasts just a foot away.

"Uhhhh," he managed. He could reach out and touch-

Asuka was breathing noisily, as if angry, or about to cry, or...

"It was before I came, right, when you guys did it?" she had stepped closer as she spoke.

"Errr, we never, I mean, we just..." Shinji tried.

Asuka had sat on his leg, one of her's to either side of his. He didn't want to wonder what was pressing against him, but could only think of how warm it was.

Her hands took his and brought it up to her chest. "Like this, right?" she said softly. His palm was feeling amazing things. With Rei it had been an accident, and he had mostly been panicked and feeling awkward. Asuka was actually participating. That definitely made up for the addition of a shirt.

"Real girls are better than dolls, right Shinji?" Asuka breathed. Her hair had fallen forward and had mostly hidden her face. He could feel the air brushing his face as her lips moved.

Shinji couldn't speak. Asuka stood abruptly, tearing the contact away. She spun around before he could see her face. "Understand?" she asked, then left for her room without waiting for a reply.

-

Agent Spalding walked down the cold halls of NERV, dreading what he was about to do. The gears of the machine had finally turned, and he was up for a review on the attempted kidnapping of one of the pilots. Every action he took would be analyzed and torn apart. 'You had to have been there' was not generally an accepted answer.

He came to the door and forced himself to pass through. Best to just rip the bandaid off in one go.

Major Katsuragi was waiting at the head of a table, looking far more serious than their last meeting.

"You were expecting Commander Ikari?" she asked.

He nodded and pulled out a seat.

"Don't worry about the review. Everyone knows you did as well as anyone could have in that situation." Misato tossed the file to the side of the table.

"That's not why we're here, is it?" he asked.

She favored him with a smile. "No, it's not." A familiar unshaven figure entered from a side door. He spun a chair around and sat on it backwards.

"Yo, Spalding."

"Ryoji." it was all a bit much to process.

"How much do you know?" asked Misato.

"Nothing." It was mostly true.

Misato and Kaji shared a look

"We were trying to keep as few people involved as possible. So far, just us two. Recent events have forced us to...reconsider," Misato explained.

"You need to understand, we are risking our lives, and yours, bringing you into it. This is your last chance to back out and never mention any of this," Kaji appeared serious for once.

That by itself was enough to make Kelly take them seriously. He nodded. The pilot's welfare was becoming more and more important to him. They were people to him now. Friends. If he was any judge of character, these two had similar priorities.

Misato let out a deep sigh, as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Kaji grinned.

"Great, lets go get drinks after this! How about a strip club?"

Misato made a face like she just found a cockroach in her beer.


	12. Cards on the Table

Kaji slid his chair down the table, slightly away from Misato. She glared at him with the full force of a Major, demanding he be serious. He held his hands up in a gesture of surrender and turned towards Agent Spalding. Clearly, they might be working together, but Misato didn't have to like it.

"You've probably already guessed that the most recent attack was by the Japanese government." Misato began.

Kelly nodded. "No one else has the resources to conduct an operation like that in Japan."

"What you have to understand is that was just a feint. They have the full power of the Japanese military to call upon if necessary."

"We have the Evangelions. Seems like a pretty big handicap to me," after all, thought Spalding, we saw how well they did against the first angel attack.

"Our situation is far more precarious than it seems. NERV was made to stop angels, not a human military. It was built that way as a compromise," Misato explained. "The government isn't in a good place either. NERV is incredibly popular with the public. They're seen as the only ones capable of stopping the angels and protecting Japan. Any direct move against us would be disastrous for them at this point."

"Wait, you keep saying the government. Who, exactly? The Prime Minister?"

Kaji sighed. "You're out of the loop. A military junta made up of the top brass has held de facto power in the government since shortly after the first angel attack. We believe they are taking orders from an outside source, but we don't know who."

Kelly leaned back and breathed out slowly. The more he worked for NERV the less he related to the average civilian, but still, learning your government had been all but overthrown was a shock. "Is this who you're working for?"

Kaji shrugged. "Commander Ikari thinks I'm working for him while pretending to spy for them, they think I'm spying on Ikari for them. It's all kind of complicated, but the truth is I'm working with Misato towards our own goals."

"Your goals? Your interests seem to align with NERV's."

Misato and Kaji shared another look. "Commander Ikari may not have NERV's best interests at heart."

"What are those?" He had no personal affection for his boss, but Ikari had always worked to defeat the angels.

"The welfare of the pilots. Saving the world," Misato spoke immediately.

"It all sounds melodramatic, but we're in an extraordinary situation. A lot is at stake." Kaji reasoned.

"And Commander Ikari wants to..." skeptical pause, "hurt the pilots and destroy the world?"

"We know he has his own agenda. He wouldn't think twice about sacrificing Shinji or anyone else to accomplish it."

Considering it, Spalding found it easy to believe. No one would call Ikari the sentimental type.

Kaji sensed he was coming over to their side and continued, "The government knows that now too. Their attack on Shinji was a sign they've lost faith in Ikari. This means it will only get riskier for the pilots. They won't try to take the Evangelions on head on, but what about the children that are the only ones that can drive them? Maybe next time it will be a sniper outside their school. Ikari wants to house them permanently in NERV. Once that happens, they'll be out of our reach."

"Why would the government harm their only defense against the angels?" Spalding seemed incredulous.

"Oh, they have a backup plan," muttered Misato darkly.

"What do you need me to do?"

-

Gendo Ikari allowed himself a small, cold smile as he looked down at the progress reports on the Dummy Plugs. Very soon now this foolishness with the children would be over. Very soon it would all be over. His eyes stared through his glasses, out the window of his office, at the flickering lights of the Geofront.

Yui...

-

Shinji threw the bow of his cello on his bed in frustration. Even he couldn't stand the sounds he was making today. He set the cello back in it's case carefully. Maybe he latched the clasps a little roughly. That was all he allowed his emotions to leak out.

He fell back into the chair miserably and looked at the ceiling. Asuka was impossible. One minute she was closer to him than anyone else had ever been, the next she was ignoring him completely. Living with her was a lesson in extremes. Hot, very hot, and then cold. He shuddered. Very cold. She hadn't even acknowledged his existence since last night. She seemed to be waiting for him to do something. How the hell was he supposed to know what to do?

Between her mood swings and giant monsters (not to mention armed commandos) trying to kill him regularly, he didn't even know what he felt anymore.

He knew what he wanted. He wanted the Asuka that seemed to care about him. The Asuka that had hugged him so hard he felt his spine crack after rescuing him in her Eva, heedless of the fact that she was wearing a skin-tight plugsuit and dripping LCL out her nose. He wanted the angels to stop attacking. He wanted a normal life. With her in it, he admitted to himself. With Rei, and Misato, and Kensuke and Toji, and even Kelly, he found himself adding. His father...

His father only saw him as a tool, he knew now. After hearing how Misato disobeyed orders and ordered Asuka to the underground tunnel where she could intercept their car, when his father had ordered them to wait. He was just someone useful who could pilot an Eva. Not worth risking Unit 02 for. Unit 01 was safe, after all.

His son could wait. He'd probably be alright.

Misato had been crying, the first one near him after Asuka. His father called him the next day.

Who cared if he was his biological father? He knew what was important now.

-

He sat down on the couch next to Asuka, who continued watching Cowboy Bebop as if he wasn't there.

Fine, he thought. If you won't talk, I will.

"Why do we even pilot Evas?" he asked, not looking at Asuka.

She waited for the next commercial before replying. "We're saving the world, idiot. Plus we'll be the most famous people ever and everyone will love us. Why would you want to do anything else?"

"But we might die," he said, as a Spike shot someone on the television.

"Coward," Asuka replied, turning up the volume on the tv as a subtle hint that he should shut up.

"I'm not scared to die. When the Eva absorbed me I felt like I died. It wasn't that bad. But what about you?" and Rei, he added to himself. Something told him that wouldn't be the best thing to add at the moment.

Asuka's immediate response was to feel insulted. She was the best pilot, like hell she was going to die. Then she sighed. Someone his age shouldn't be thinking about dying. He was supposed to think he was invincible, like the idiots at college who drank near-lethal doses of beer or drove their motorcycles at 100mph in traffic.

She let herself slump to the side until her arm was resting against his. Her head rested on his shoulder, which felt surprisingly strong. Shinji awkwardly put his arm around her, barely touching her at first. When she didn't pull away, his grip tightened.

"None of us are going to die," she said quietly, as Julia fell slowly on screen, her hair coming to a lifeless halt.

AN: A very large chunk of the plot decide to reveal itself to me as I was writing this chapter. I'm very happy with it, and I think you guys will like it.


	13. The Great Escape II

"Bang..." the camera slowly panned up, past the distressingly blue sky into space.

Asuka sniffled. "I always cry at that part," she said, while wiping her nose. "If you tell anyone I'll cut your dick off like an umbilical cable."

Shinji flinched. Asuka giggled quietly, so that he mostly felt it through her chest. Her threats lacked the usual heat.

They sat quietly as Mai Yamane sang Blue and the credits rolled. Shinji just enjoyed being around Asuka when she wasn't being overly seductive or insulting him.

After a while, Asuka spoke, almost too quietly to hear. "I'll fight for you, but not if you don't know what you want. If I can't have all of you I don't want you at all."

"What about Kaji?" Shinji asked. Turnabout was fair play.

Asuka stiffened. Admitting to feelings was hard enough as it is. Explaining them was near-impossible. Why couldn't everything be easy, like killing angels?

"Kaji was just...like Brad Pitt or something. I knew I could never have him. I wouldn't know what to do if I did," she struggled to explain.

Shinji didn't reply, and she sensed something more was needed.

"He was an imaginary standard I could hold other guys up to so they would fail and not bother," and I wouldn't get hurt, she added to herself. So why are you doing this?

She fought back the crippling self-doubt. "You're real, Shinji."

Shinji's mind raced. She was looking at him. Should he say something? Was he supposed to kiss her now? People had clearly been getting past this stage for millions of years, but how in the hell did they do it?

He was spared the effort by a knock at the door. They were on opposite ends of the couch so fast it left an afterimage of two awkward teenagers sitting together.

Shinji was getting up to answer it as Agent Spalding strode in purposefully, looking around the room. He finally looked at the pilots on the couch.

"We need to go," he said simply.

"Another sync test?" Shinji asked wearily.

"No. Pack your things, you'll be away from here for a while," he explained curtly.

Shinji stood up to obey.

"What the hell Shinji, you're just going to listen to him?" Asuka asked, alarmed.

Agent Spalding held up a videophone, with Misato's face on it. She appeared to be in her office at NERV.

"Asuka, Shinji, please trust him. You need to go somewhere else for now," she looked ready to say more, but someone knocked at the door, she looked up in alarm. "I have to go. I love you both."

"That could be fake!" Asuka protested, but went to her room to pack.

"Hurry, you have five minutes," Agent Spalding reminded them.

-

Five minutes later, Shinji walked out of his room with a large blue suitcase and his mp3 player.

Asuka walked out of her room, struggling with the weight of two heavy suitcases, which she set down to join the other seven already in the hall.

Both males stared.

Asuka looked back sheepishly.

"Oh, fine," she said, and grabbed two of the medium sized suitcases.

Kelly turned the lights off and locked the door, and both pilots left the small apartment that had been their home since they came to Tokyo-3.

When Kelly opened the trunk, there were already 3 suitcases inside. Shinji fit his in, then turned to help Asuka with hers. She glared at them and put her own suitcases in, then slammed the trunk.

Asuka came up behind Shinji, who had opened the back door then froze. She looked inside past him, and saw a girl sitting in the dark interior, hands in her lap, red eyes staring back curiously.

Asuka growled and pushed Shinji into the middle, then sat next to him and slammed the door.

Rei was looking at them. Shinji was trying to disappear.

Asuka gave Rei a level look, then scooted closer to Shinji until she was fully pressed against him. Rei smiled and did the same. Asuka glared.

Shinji refused to move an inch, afraid he would touch something he wasn't supposed to. Pretending not to enjoy it was difficult.

Kelly watched the three in the mirror, and had to remind himself how serious the situation was to keep from laughing.

-

They stopped at a red light. Kelly looked back and felt it was a good time to explain.

"Ayanami already knows, but I'll tell you two. Right now we're taking you to a safe house. You're in further danger from the same people who tried to harm Shinji. Commander Ikari wants to move you to NERV, but we can't let him," he tried to keep it simple, knowing they would have questions.

They did.

"Who is we? My father doesn't know about this? Why can't you let him?"

"Misato, Kaji, and myself. No. We feel he might use you to do something wrong."

Asuka's was simpler. "Why the hell is the doll going along with this then? Commander Ikari has all her strings."

Rei answered for herself. "When Commander Ikari was willing to let Shinji be harmed I was very upset. He isn't the same person he used to be. Shinji...means a lot to me. I won't let the Commander hurt him." She smiled at him, took his hand, and placed it on her leg.

Asuka felt like screaming. Shinji felt soft thigh under stockings.

"Wait..." Asuka spoke slowly. "Who will pilot the Evas then? What happens to my Unit 02?"

"They've just approved a system that allows Evangelions to operate without a human pilot," Kelly explained. The idea was scary. The idea of Evangelions running around without someone directing them seemed wrong.

"No! I need to pilot!" Asuka yelled, panic edging her voice. Before anyone could react she had yanked her door open and fled down the street, past cars that were waiting for the light.

The drivers stared at the spectacle of a redhead struggling down the street, trying to avoid smashing into car mirrors, and a young Japanese boy chasing her, both watched by a man in a suit.

Asuka stumbled and Shinji caught up with her after only a few cars.

"Asuka, wait. We need to go with him," he spoke, out of breath after chasing her.

"I can't! I have to pilot, Shinji. You don't understand," she said, her voiced edged with terror. Cars were honking at them now.

"Please, Asuka. I'm going to go, we might never see each other again," he pleaded, knowing inside that if she didn't go he would never be able to leave her behind. He held out a hand.

Asuka gulped in big gasps of air, her eyes wide and panicked. She slowly calmed down, then looked at the ground.

"Okay," she whispered, and took his hand, as cars honked and irate drivers leaned out to yell at the two kids standing in the road like idiots and the sedan parked in front of a green light.

-

Gendo Ikari listened to the report without speaking or betraying emotion. He was impossible to read through the glare on his glasses, his mouth hidden behind his hands.

The subordinate shifted nervously after delivering the report.

"It is of no importance. The former pilots are no longer a priority. We may round them up at our leisure."

The man sighed in relief. He wasn't going to be fired.

"However, we cannot allow our own people to subvert us. Throw Major Katsuragi in the brig, and detain Ryoji Kaji."

"Yes sir," the man replied, and departed quickly, relieved.

The commander of NERV allowed himself a small smile. They had done his work for him. Katsuragi had needed to be removed since she had disobeyed his orders to keep the Evas inside, and Kaji was a dangerous element that was hard to clear off the board. They had even solved the problem of disposing of the pilots.

He loved when things came together.


	14. Fragile Oasis

Misato sat in the dark of her holding cell and scratched a seventh mark on the wall.

She was filled with worry about her wards, and her only solace was they hadn't caught Kaji yet. They still came in every day to ask her where he was.

Her scar itched, but she couldn't scratch it with the handcuffs on.

-

"I'm going out for food. Don't leave the house," Kelly said, and left through the front door..

Shinji stared after him. He would never get used to the man in plain clothes, especially with that stupid wig. Dreadlocks on a Japanese person? I thought the idea was not to stand out.

Still, things had settled down, compared to the chaos of the first week.

-

"Is this some kind of joke?" Asuka demanded irately, still shook up. She had only just stopped crying. "We've only gone across the city!"

"We hope they won't look for you this close. I'm going to take the car to someone else, who will drive it out to Hokkaido," he explained, suppressing a sigh over handing over his baby. "By the time they catch up, they should have a ton of ground to cover."

He spoke while unloading their suitcases to the sidewalk, then threw a keyring to Shinji.

"I have to go. Take the suitcases inside and lock the door. Don't let anyone in unless they say watermelons."

Asuka struggled to find something to disagree with. Part of her still wasn't commited to this. "At least the house is nice, I guess," she said lamely, looking across the street at the large expensive house. Definitely a step up from Misato's crappy apartment.

"Ah, not that one. That one there," Kelly pointed.

Asuka stared in disbelief at the tiny rooms over a small, ratty looking manga store. "You expect me to live in that?!" she said, disbelieving.

"Yes," replied Kelly, as he shut the car door, started the engine, and pulled away.

The three pilots were left standing on the curb, an incensed Asuka kicking Shinji's suitcase and yelling after the departing sedan.

-

Things hadn't calmed down much after that. There was one bedroom, a small living room with a couch, a tiny kitchen and a microscopic bathroom. Their suitcases took up roughly half the room in the house.

"Couldn't they have splurged for something a little bigger if they were going to abduct us?" Asuka complained.

"I can share the bedroom with Shinji and you can have the couch to yourself," Ayanami volunteered.

That was it. Asuka had been through too much, too fast. They had found the German's breaking point.

Rei barely dodged the fist. Shinji grabbed Asuka from behind and held her as she struggled.

"You perverted bitch!" Asuka screamed.

Rei looked curious. "What is wrong about that? Is it not normal for two people who love eachother to share a bed?"

Asuka's struggles intensified. Shinji felt like he was trying to hold down a lioness. Then she was still.

She spoke quietly. "Shinji doesn't love you. Do you, Shinji?"

He could almost feel the edge of the prog knife at his throat. Still, he felt honesty was the best option here.

"I do," admitted Shinji. He felt Asuka go stiff. She turned towards him, looking betrayed, and also ready to kill. Seeing the hurt so plain on Asuka's face made his stomach clench. Rei was smiling.

"But it's not like how I feel about Asuka. I'm sorry, Rei. It's more like a sister or a good friend." Asuka turned as he spoke, burying her face in his shirt, heedless of the snot and tearing soaking it.

Rei's face was neutral. "I see." She turned away from them. "Still, friends can sometimes become something more. Maybe we can share a bed later."

She carried her suitcase into the bedroom. Asuka was too exhausted to glare after her.

Shinji wondered if she had taken the bedroom to herself to spite them, but decided that wasn't very much like Rei at all.

-

Sleeping on the floor turned out to be uncomfortable, since they had no futon and Kelly said it was too conspicuous to buy one and haul it around. He was sleeping in the walk-in closet in Rei's bedroom.

After a few days, Asuka got sick of listening to Shinji turn over uncomfortably on the floor, and worked up some nerve.

"Just come up here, idiot," she said, scooting back on the couch to make room.

Shinji wasn't sure he had heard right. "You mean with you?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"I'm sure as fuck not sleeping on the floor," Asuka muttered, too shy to address the issue directly. Being shy isn't like you, she told herself, but she couldn't help it.

So Shinji had gotten up on the couch, laying down carefully and trying not to touch anything that would get him castrated, until Asuka her put her arm around his chest and pulled him roughly back into her. Shinji knew he couldn't think about what exactly was pressing into his upper back at the moment.

"Idiot," she spoke into his hair, and fell asleep.

All in all, things didn't get a lot more comfortable for him.

-

The angels attacked twice in the week they were there. It felt strange not fighting them. The fear that seized them as the ground shook. They couldn't even go to the underground shelters for fear of being spotted. The hardest part for Asuka was knowing her Unit 02 was out fighting, and hearing it's screams. She swallowed her pride and let Shinji hold her then. Rei stayed in her room, not making any noise. If anyone had intruded, they would have seen her whimper when the pilotless Evas tore into the angels. Kelly smoked on the porch. It was the only time they saw him with cigarettes.

Still, apparently the new system worked. The Evangelions beat the angels, without them. Everything seemed to be going according to plan.

Until the second week.


	15. It All Comes Tumbling Down

AN: I have none of this written ahead of time, I upload it as I write it. Before anyone can check it, even. Sorry about that.

-

"Shinji," he turned.

Rei stood in front of him, wearing nothing.

"Idiot," Asuka said, and stepped out the kitchen, similarly clothed.

Shinji died, went to heaven, was reincarnated as an amoeba, finally evolved into a human being again, and rushed into the embrace of the two naked pilots.

"Wake up, idiot!" said dream-Asuka. That's not how this one goes, protested Shinji. It starts with a full body massage, and then...

He was shaken awake, or rather, he was still and everything else was shaken.

Asuka stood above him, "Wake up, idiot!" she repeated. "Another angel is attacking. The Evas are fighting it."

She hurried to the window to watch, and cheer for her Unit 02. She needn't have bothered. The Evas fought with a savagery the pilots could never have mustered. There was an animalistic fury to their movements. The Angel fought back desperately, but the two Evas overwhelmed it. NERV didn't even have to send out Unit 00.

They tore the angel apart, howling. After it was defeated they...devoured it. Asuka ran from the window to the bathroom. Retching sounds filled the rest of the house. "That's not my Unit 02," she repeated to herself. The angel's blood glistened on it's red armor plating under the Tokyo sun.

At last, all that was left was an orb. Unit 01 seized it triumphantly and held it up, ready to eat it. Unit 02 screamed and dove for it. The two behemoths rolled, lashing into each other viciously. Around them, the city crumbled. They fought heedless of their surroundings. The sounds of the titanic clash drowned out Rei's muffled sobbing.

It took Ritsuko over an hour to shut them down.

Voices began to question whether they could rely on the Dummy Plugs.

-

"I have to go back," said Asuka quietly, stirring the dinner Shinji had made with her chopsticks.

Shinji looked up in surprise, "What?"

"They can't make my Eva do that. It's wrong," she continued determinedly.

"But they've beaten three angels without us. We can stay here, they don't need us to fight," Shinji reasoned.

Rei entered the room, putting her arms around Shinji's neck from behind and pressing the back of his head into her breasts.

"You can go, I'll take care of Ikari," she smiled sweetly.

Asuka grit her teeth and stared at her plate. "I'll stay," she said at last.

She wished Shinji knew what she was giving up for him.

-

When the next angel alarm sounded, the Evas refused to move.

Gendo Ikari slammed one gloved fist into the reinforced glass that separated him from the Eva cages.

"Are you refusing me?" he demanded. "Damn you!"

The Evas stared mutely ahead in response.

He walked from the room angrily, without further response.

-

"Ten hours until the Angel reaches the Geofront, Commander Ikari," declared Misato's replacement, an older man with grey creeping in at his temples. Alarms echoed through the halls of NERV.

Gendo stared over his gloves. He would have to collect the pilots sooner than he had planned. Only Ayanami was truly necessary, but Units 01 and 02 were too useful a resource to simply abandon. Still, it rankled, admitting he needed foolish children.

"Bring me Sawashima," was all he said, before retreating to his office.

-

Misato heard the alarms in her cell.

"Hey! What's happening? HEY!" she yelled, to no response.

She banged on the door until her hands hurt, then collapsed against it.

The hole in the door that they passed her food through opened. A man in a NERV security outfit stared in.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair," he spoke in a singsong voice, as the mechanical lock opened. "Or just pull out your boobs."

Misato slapped him.

-

Agent Spalding opened the door to the safe house and walked in slowly.

"Where were you?" Shinji asked, "The Evas aren't..." he trailed off as he saw the two men in suits behind Kelly, both holding guns.

Kelly had his hands up to the sides. "Sorry Shinji, they found me," he apologized.

"Shut up," demanded the larger man. "You three are coming with us. As for you, traitor..."

He raised the gun quickly to the back of Agent Kelly's head and pulled the trigger.

Asuka screamed.


	16. It All Returns to Nothing

A brilliant blue glow suffused the room.

The Section 2 agents stepped back in shock. A bullet hung flattened against the geometric surface of an AT field. Up close, it was almost blinding, but the light ebbed and faded away. The bullet dropped harmlessly to the floor.

"Rei, you..." Shinji began. Rei's hand was held out as she manipulated the AT field effortlessly.

She turned to them with an angelic smile on her face.

"I have to go. My brother is very angry."

Kelly knew his chance when he saw it. He dove towards the closest agent, a taser appearing in his hand. He jammed it into the mans stomach. The large Section 2 agent collapsed with a grunt. The other raised his gun, too quickly. Kelly grimaced.

Asuka broke a pot over his head. He fell to the ground soundlessly.

"I hated that plant," she declared, avoiding looking at Rei.

Rei walked up to Shinji, who unconsciously backed up a step. She grabbed his cheeks with her hand. She pulled him towards her and kissed him lightly.

She disappeared as Asuka dove towards her. All three stared at the empty space formerly occupied by a blue haired pilot.

"Did she just.." tried Agent Kelly, but stopped with a shrug. He sat back against the wall, propping his feet up on an unconscious Section 2 agent. Screw it, I'm willing to believe anything at this point, he thought. One hand reached up to straighten his dreadlock wig.

Outside, the Angel roared it's fury.

Asuka and Shinji shared a look, then looked at Kelly.

"We have to go," they spoke together.

-

Misato ran after Kaji, holding a pistol stolen from a guard. He tried to fill her in as they ran.

"Ikari used the dummy plugs after we took the pilots. At first, it was alright, but now they aren't working. His only choice is to take them back, and I think he knows where they are." The geofront creaked ominously.

"What the hell was that?" demanded Misato.

"Oh yeah, an angel is headed towards NERV right now," Kaji added belatedly.

"Were you going reveal that bit after we ran into it," asked Misato irately, as they turned a corner.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

-

"Commander, the team we sent to retrieve the pilots has returned," Misato's replacement informed his irritated superior.

"Very well. Get them to the cages as soon as possible," Ikari's voice was cold. This was his only option, but he was already planning how to punish their disobedience later.

"Remove the dummy plugs and switch over to the old system."

-

The car the Section Two agents had departed in was escorted to the Eva cage entrance.

The man walking them through opened the door, saw an unconscious section 2 agent tied to the passenger seat, and managed a "What the hell," before getting hit by a tazer.

"Are you sure you two don't need your plugsuits or anything?" Kelly asked again. This plan was so haphazard he couldn't help but feel he was leading them all to their deaths.

They looked at him from the backseat with a steady stare far too mature for their age. "We'll be okay," Shinji reassured. He didn't have time to explain the suits only helped with synchronizatio and were easy to clean. "Just get us near the entry plugs, then hide."

"Right," Kelly agreed. Of course, he'd have to modify the hide part of the plan.

The car stopped near a service entrance. "Okay then, let's do this," he said, opening the door.

He swung out of the car fluidly, raising a shotgun. He sighted down the barrel as he ran, hearing the pursuing footsteps of the Eva pilots.

NERV security was the best in the world. They quickly realized something was wrong.

The two closest officers were there within seconds. Still, he had the element of surprise.

They both caught triple-ought buck in the chest and went down like Misato after a night of heavy drinking. It wasn't enough to penetrate their bulletproof vests, but the kinetic force still cracked ribs and felt like getting dropkicked by an Eva.

The closer they got to the Evas, the heavier the resistance got. Kelly reloaded while leaning against a wall and panting. Blood dripped down his left arm and smeared on the shotgun shells he was loading.

"You're shot!" Shinji said, always there to state the obvious.

"Just go! We're almost there," Kelly said, leveraging himself from the wall and moving forward again, shooting into the hall ahead of them to provide suppressive fire.

Finally, they reached the Eva cages. Security was waiting for them. Kelly fired off a quick shot that knocked the closest security guard over the rail, before being forced to take cover as a dozen guards fired from the opposite side of the room.

"Shit, you can't get to the entry plugs through that!" he yelled. Had they come this far only to get stopped here?

Not if Yui could help it. One huge arm ripped free of it's restraints and slammed down on the walkway between the pilots and NERV forces.

Shinji and Asuka shared a look, smiled, and ran towards their Evas.

-

Gendo slammed a fist on his desk.

"Flood the room with bakelite!" he ordered. "We can't have rogue Evas running amok." That would be worse than an angel hours away.

"Belay that! Do not hinder them." spoke a feminine voice over the intercom.

Gendo fell silent in the face of two gun barrels pointed at him.

"Ikari," said Kaji, "let them pilot."

Gendo had released the button that broadcasted his voice to NERV hq. They were scrambling to obey Katsuragi out of habit formed by months of drills.

"Don't be a fool. They are children, they cannot be allowed to have that much power with no control. We might as well have three angels on our hands then," Gendo spoke disdainfully.

Kaji stepped closer, his gun hand steady. "Did I sound like I was asking? Because I wasn't."

Gendo grunted. "You don't know what you're doing," he warned, but didn't try to contradict them. His time would come.

"Release the restraints!" Misato ordered over the channel.

-

Shinji and Asuka stood on the walkway in front of their Evas as the restraints were released.

Shouts came from the other side of Unit 01's arm. Agent Spalding had disappeared.

They turned to face eachother, feeling remarkably calm as chaos reigned all around them.

"We won't die, remember?" said Asuka, looking up at Shinji. The Geofront rocked from a blast by the angel. Metal girders and panels crashed down around them.

"Yeah," he said simply.

He closed the distance in an instant, and pressed his lips against hers. No awkwardness this time, he thought. She stood still in shock for a moment, then put her arms around him.

They broke the kiss quickly, and ran up the arms of their Evas to the entry plugs.

-

Evangelion Units 01 and 02 launched at Misato's order. The rampaging angel turned to face this new threat, roaring a battle cry.

And was impaled in a deadly rain of spears. It screamed, pinned to the ground, spurting what passed for angel blood. A spear through its core silenced it.

"What the hell was that?" Shinji demanded over the intercom.

"We've detected several power signatures," said Maya. "It's...it's Evas!"

"More Evas?" asked Asuka.

White shapes flew to the ground and began to eat the dead angel. One abstained.

"Commander Ikari, you are relieved of Command," spoke a new voice. "SEELE's patience with you has ended."

A grey-haired young man appeared on the video feed. He wore a black plugsuit.

"Who the hell are you?" Asuka demanded, as Gendo lunged for the intercom button.

"You're too late, you can't stop it!" he yelled, his control cracking.

"Then we will destroy NERV and command instrumentality ourselves," Kaoru said, closing the link.

"We can't let you do that," spoke Shinji and Asuka together, standing between the Mass Produced Evas and the weakened Geofront.

Haunting laughter came over the channel. "You're too late. Look behind you,"

The pilots turned, too late to stop the N2 mine descending towards the Geofront's weakened armor plating.


	17. The Silence of the Evas

The largest explosion yet rocked the Geofront. The lights flickered then went out. Red emergency lights slowly came on.

Misato ducked and covered her head as a section of the ceiling came loose, showering the room with power cables.

"Look out!" Kaji yelled, and tried to shield her from the falling debris.

Gendo smiled coldly, stood up calmly from his desk, and walked to the rear wall unhurriedly. He pressed a hidden button and slipped through the gap that opened before they noticed he was gone. As he walked down the stairs, he only hurried slightly. Fools. All this drama was pointless. They were far too late to stop him.

-

"Fuck!" cursed Misato, as they stood up and realized Gendo was gone.

She slammed the button on Gendo's desk angrily.

"Damage report!" she demanded.

Maya's voice spoke hesitantly over the intercom, filled with static. "All armor layers destroyed. No response from 37% of sections. 62% of the Geofront is without backup power. 93.5% of security systems are offline!" she sounded despondent.

"Shit," said Misato quietly, kicking Gendo's desk. Kaji stared out the window helplessly at the ruined Geofront.

"Misato," said Ritsuko over the channel. "The Magi are intact, they were shielded in the lowest sections. Shinji and Asuka are fighting the white Evas."

"I'll be right there!" yelled Misato, and took off running. Kaji followed her. She could help more in the command center. Gendo's viewscreen was cracked and without power.

-

When she got there, she gasped at what she saw.

Asuka and Shinji fought skillfully, working together at a level that put their first synchronization to shame. Still, they were losing.

The enemy Evas outnumbered them, and regenerated from any damage quickly. One pulled a prog knife from it's forehead and tossed it away, licking the blood that dripped down it's face with a grotesque oversized tongue.

When the pilots turned to face one, another would come from behind and go for their legs, like a pack of wolves.

And then there was the boy. He fought with incredible skill, moving his Eva like it was his own body. Whenever they took down a few of the Mass Produced Evas he was there, driving them away with Prog Sword attacks and giving the white Evangelions time to regenerate. Both Evas were damaged in a dozen places. Their Umbilical cables were long ago cut, and their battery packs were steadily ticking down.

Slowly but surely, they were losing.

-

"What do we do, Misato?" asked Shinji, fighting calmly despite the damage his Eva had taken. It throbbed in his own body, but he refused to acknowledge it.

Misato couldn't to say she didn't know. The NERV techs in the control room looked to her helplessly.

A voice cut in over the chatter. "Let me out, Major Katsuragi. The south entrance."

-

Asuka was pushed backwards by the impact of one of the huge swords. Unit 02 slowly toppled, tripping over the debris of a shattered building.

The white Evas loomed above her, leering, if giant robots could leer.

At least I got to pilot again, with Shinji, she thought, and closed her eyes as the spears lanced down.

-

Gendo walked into Terminal Dogma. Lilith loomed, dripping LCL, her lifeless eyes boring into him. His hand bubbled, shifting like melted wax. The pain was incredible, but that didn't matter anymore. It was done. He stepped towards the crucified angel to initiate Third Impact.

-

And buried in the empty ground.

"It's not like you to give up, Asuka," Shinji said, having pulled her out of the path of the lances just in time.

"You're right," she agreed, and stood.

Still, their Evas were crippled and running out of power. The ferocious white Evas seemed fresh.

It was hopeless, they knew. They grey-haired boy's mocking laughter filled their cockpits, then cut off.

His Eva jumped abruptly.

Seconds later a beam lanced through the air where it had been. It struck the Eva series behind it, turning it's core into superheated mist.

The first Eva series collapsed like a puppet with it's strings cut.

"Erste," said Rei cheekily.

-

"We've rerouted the power NERV is no longer using to Rei, but we're not sure how long it will last!" said Ritsuko urgently. She didn't need to point out that the two pilots had less than a minute left on their batteries.

"We've given them the chance. They can do it!" said Misato, praying she was right.

-

Alarms were going off in the entry plug. Shinji screamed, and pushed. Unit 01 pushed with him.

Kaoru retreated in front of him, his face furrowed in concentration as he struggled to parry the rain of attacks.

Asuka lifted a mass produced Eva over her head, exposing its core as it roared in frustration. Rei took the shot. Blood and superheated Eva parts rained down in copious amounts, drenching the red mecha.

"You're cleaning this off my Unit 02 later, Wondergirl! With a toothbrush!" Asuka demanded. I can't lose, Asuka thought. Shinji is with me.

The final Eva series fell, leaving only Kaoru. Rei tossed aside her sniper rifle, the barrel badly warped and glowing cherry red.

"So close," mocked Kaoru. "But I have power, and you're all out. It looks like your little sharpshooter is done, too."

His Eva raised it's prog sword overhead in a fighting stance.

The red and blue evas were still.

"Eva units and 01 and 02, silent," whispered Maya over the com.


	18. The Skyline Was Beautiful On Fire

"Rei! No!" Misato screamed.

Shinji struggled in his dead entry plug, desperately willing his Eva to move. He watched on the monitor as the blue Eva sprinted towards Kaoru. Kaoru turned, ready to cut the new enemy in half before it could self-destruct. Then he stopped and lowered his sword, as the Eva tackled his.

"I see, you're like me. You have this much faith in them, Lilith?" Tabris spoke, before being incinerated in a ball of light.

The two powerless Evas rocked with the force of the explosion.

"Rei!" shouted Shinji, as he sat back in the plug in shock. What remained of the command center stared in mute horror.

Said girl appeared naked in his lap, with a gloop of displaced LCL.

"That felt weird," she said, rubbing her arms as if they itched.

"Rei!" cried Shinji, elatedly.

"What? What's going on?" demanded Asuka. Shinji thanked whatever God there was that the video to his plug was off.

Rei turned in his lap to face him. Her breasts bobbed and floated in the LCL of the entry plug.

"Shinji, your father has initiated instrumentality," Rei spoke seriously.

"What?" asked Shinji, utterly lost. It wasn't every day a naked blue haired girl appeared in your lap and began babbling nonsense.

"With the Eva, you can remake the world into whatever you want. We can make everyone happy," she said.

Shinji stared. "You're serious, aren't you?" he asked.

She nodded. Her hair spread in the LCL, moving slowly into a halo around her head.

Shinji stared around him. He slowly took in the ruined city, littered with craters and the corpses of the Eva series. Fires blazed out of control, tearing through ruined and intact buildings alike. A pall of smoke hung over the battlefield and the screams of alarms echoed through the skeletons of skyscrapers. The wreckage of the once majestic Geofront was prominent. His eyes came to rest on a red Eva, with an ejected entry plug, and a small red figure clambering out of it.

"This world is fine. People will have to make themselves happy," he said. It was all he could say. "I'm sorry, Rei."

She smiled at him, a little sadly. "Then this is the last time we will see eachother. Goodbye, Shinji," she hugged him, and was gone before he could protest, leaving only the lingering feeling of her skin and a few bubbles as the LCL rushed to fill the empty space.

"Rei?" Shinji asked, in the emptiness of his entry plug. But there was no reply.

-

Gendo walked unsteadily towards Lilith. He raised his hand, or what used to be a hand, towards the crucified angel.

A trail of blood led to the same room. Kelly was barely on his feet. He hadn't been able to stop the bleeding. Still, his body had taken him this far. Just a little farther. He raised the barrel of the shotgun, willing his eyes to focus. I knew you'd come here, you bastard, he thought. This is for Shinji.

A glowing hand pushed down the barrel of the gun.

"Don't," Rei spoke.

Kelly stared. She was floating. Rei appeared lit from the inside by an inner light, not to mention completely naked.

I've lost way too much blood, he thought, and collapsed against a wall, the shotgun clattering uselessly to the ground. A streak of blood marked his passage down to the floor.

He watched through fading sight as Gendo stumbled forward, towards something only he could see.

"Yui," he whispered. Then louder, "Yui!"

Kelly thought he saw a smiling brown-haired woman an instant before Gendo turned to liquid, splattering down on the floor of Terminal Dogma.

Then he saw nothing.


	19. A Badly Written Epilogue

Spalding slowly opened his eyes, then immediately shut them almost all the way. It was so bright. Everything was white.

Am I dead, he thought? He tried opening his eyelids a tiny bit, and was greated with a smiling face.

Ah! An angel. Wow, she's cute.

Oh, she's reaching between my legs. Ohhhh. What are you doing down there, little angel?

Oh. You're taking my catheter out. OhhhhhhhhhhhhhhAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"WHAT THE HELL?!" he cried, sitting up.

A familiar face watched him, trying not to laugh.

"What's so funny bastard?! Do you know where that just was?" he demanded, pointing at the plastic tube the nurse was holding.

Shinji just laughed. "It's been a while, Kelly-san," he said. They had a lot to talk about.

Asuka looked up from her magazine, making a semi-disgusted face. She and Shinji shared a joined set of chairs by his bed. She was leaning on her fellow pilot.

"I feel sick."

-

Shinji sighed, watching the man that had done so much for him laying in the hospital bed.

Asuka refused to even come anymore, she said she couldn't stand to see him like this. Lately, Shinji could understand. Agent Kelly had wasted away, his skin was loose and pale. The man on the bed was a shell of his former self. His eyes twitched, as if he was dreaming.

He looked at the doctor who had treated him for weeks. "Are you sure he's not dreaming, or something?" Shinji asked, for what must have been the hundredth time.

The doctor sighed, and pushed his glasses up his nose. "He was dead for too long before they found him. His brain had no oxygen. This is just a body." The poor kid.

Shinji put a hand over his mouth as he stared at his friend. "You're right," he admitted. Just saying it was painful. He had always come, hoping one day Kelly would open his eyes and make some joke.

"Pull the plug then," he said firmly, knowing Kelly would be proud that he spoke without a hitch in his voice. "It's what he would have wanted." Misato, Kaji, Asuka, everyone had told him this is what he should do. He had fought them for weeks, but...

"Very well," said the doctor, with genuine regret in his voice.

Shinji sat in the same chair he had sat every other day since they brought him to the hospital and stared at his hand.

I'm so fucked up, he thought.

-

Just kidding.

-

Kaji stood outside Kelly's hospital room, and wondered if now was the time.

Misato was always happy after a visit and seeing their friend make progress towards recovery. Why not, he told himself.

"Hey, Misato, how about a drink tonight? I did break you out of prison," he asked cheerfully.

Misato put a finger to her lips and favored him with a smile. She seemed to be considering it.

A cute nurse walked by in a tight skirt. Kaji's eyes following her butt as it bounced down the hallway.

Misato slapped him.

"You never change, bastard!"

-----------------------

AN: Okay, so that's it. Now the part where I talk too much.

Obviously, I tweaked some things for the sake of the story. Spalding of course being the obvious thing. Other than that, glossing over/changing the angels, keeping the pilots from going berserk, changing Misato and Kaji's knowledge, the Lance and AT fields never really coming into play, giving Lilith the ability to tang on demand, etc.

Neither of the pilots ever really had their big breakdown. I avoided that because I've always thought they weren't especially fucked up people, really, just as fucked up as your average person, but thrown into an insane situation and placed under enormous amounts of stress and a constant risk of dying, which brings out the worst in them.

If you pull them out a little early, keep Shinji from surpassing Asuka's sync scores, and all the other things that happen towards the end of the series, you're left with two fairly normal pilots.

I like Spalding, but normally I prefer no OC. It's one of those things that makes me close an otherwise good fanfiction when I read it.

I just tried to fit him into the story as best I could and not have it turn into:

"Shinji what the hell are you doing?" Asked Spalding, looming over Shinji in the entry plug.

"I'm trying!" yelled Shinji, struggling to beat the Eva series.

"Ugh, here, let me do it!" ordered Spalding, shoving Shinji out of the way.

"You can't just pilot an Eva with no experience!" yelled Ritsuko over the com.

"Watch me!" said Spalding.

"Oh my god! Sync ratio is 100%" said a disbelieving Maya, as she reached down into her panties. I'm so wet!

Spalding picked up a lance and wielded it effortlessly, spearing the entire Eva series on it like a shiskabob and planting the opposite end in the ground. They twitched, impaled.

"Steki~~~"

-

Barf. Anyway, thank you to everyone who went this far, and especially to those who reviewed.


End file.
